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"A pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play that deliberately exploits an ambiguity between similar-sounding words for humorous or rhetorical effect. Such ambiguity may arise from the intentional misuse of homophonical, homographical, homonymic, polysemic, metonymic, or metaphorical language."
"A pun is a comedic phrase that plays off of the sounds and double meanings of words. Puns can be quite clever, but often come off as silly, cheeseball attempts at humor. A pun is a humorous play on words." ~ From Vocabulary.com
View more definitions of "Pun"d from
- Cambridge Dictionary
- Oxford Learner's Dictionary
- Wikipedia.
Puns add a delightful twist to language, offering humor and clever wordplay that make everyday conversations more engaging. Explore creative ways to enhance your writing and incorporate witty expressions with tools like EduWriter.ai, designed to elevate your linguistic skills effortlessly.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
4. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
5. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law.
6. It doesn't matter how kind you are, German children are always kinder.
German translation: Kind = Child, Kinder (Plural of Kind) = Children. In German, however, all nouns are capitalized.
● Learn German While You Sleep 😀 130 Basic German Words and Phrases 🍻 English German. YouTube video, 3 hrs. Published by Trieu Duong HUYNH, Feb 21, 2018.
● If you learn German only when sleeping, you will speak German only when dreaming. ~ Radek Macalik.
7. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: "That's the last thing I need!"
10. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
● A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. ~ Thomas Jefferson.
11. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
12. Work for a cause, not for applause.
Live life to express, not to impress.
Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt. ~ Unknown.
13. Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?
14. There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don't worry, though - he woke up.
15. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu - you get what you deserve.
16. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
17. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
18. The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. ~ Dr. Bob Moorehead. See Words Aptly Spoken and A Passion for Victory: Living Triumphantly Every Day.
● Our contradictions. We are in such a hurry to grow up, and then we long for our lost childhood. We make ourselves ill earning money, and then spend all our money on getting well again. We think so much about the future that we neglect the present, and thus experience neither the present nor the future. We live as if we were never going to die and die as if we had never lived. ~ Paulo Coelho.
● If you put bananas and money in front of monkeys, monkeys will choose bananas because monkeys do not know that money can buy a lot of bananas. In reality, if you put money and health in front of people, people tend to choose money because too many people do not know that health can bring more money and happiness. ~ Jack Ma, Billionaire entrepreneur, Co-founder of Alibaba Group.
19. We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. ~ Aristotle.
20. An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way. ~ Charles Bukowski.
21. Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say. ~ Mitch Albom.
22. The quickest way to get someone's attention is to no longer want it. ~ Anonymous.
23. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. ~ Erica Jong.
24. Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. ~ Cullen Hightower.
25. More puns:
● The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
● A backward poet writes inverse.
● I told my suitcase that there will be no vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
● If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus. ~ Casual Christian Comedy.
● I renamed my iPod "The Titanic", so when I plug it in, it says, "The Titanic is syncing."
● Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
● The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
● Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
● If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
● When the past, present, and future go camping, they always argue. It's intense tense in tents.
● The best time to open a gift is the present.
● A mean crook going down stairs is a condescending con, descending.
● There was the person who sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
● What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.
● A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
● No matter how hard you push the envelope, it's still stationery.
● The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize.
● A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
● The Middle Ages were called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights.
● I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected.
● I've got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It's a complex complex complex.
● I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate.
● Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
● Fruit farmers eat what they can and can what they can't. ~ Vince the Sign Guy.
● I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops. Or she works at Ihop.
● My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
● My wife claims I'm the cheapest person she's ever met. I'm not buying it.
● Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
● I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.
● I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.
● I have a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare. But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
● Is it good or bad if your vacuum sucks?
● Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.
● What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.
● I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen, I saw a man frying chips. I asked him, "Are you the friar?" He replied, "No, I'm the chip monk."
● Relish today. Ketchup tomorrow.
● I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, now I have Heinzsight.
● Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
● I'm giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I'm giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
● And the cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good spit it out.
● Beer is now cheaper than gas. So drink, don't drive.
● Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
● Drink wine. It isn't good to keep things bottled up.
● My relationship with Whisky is on the rocks.
● She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
● For chemists, alcohol is not a problem, it's a solution.
● Cows have hooves because they lactose.
● Cow stumbles into pot field! The steaks have never been higher.
● Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.
● Huge fight at local seafood diner! Battered fish everywhere.
● Be careful when you eat at Sam & Ella's Diner. ~ Indian Hills Community Center.
● Bread is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
● I have a chicken proof lawn. It's impeccable.
● One bird can't make a pun. But toucan.
● Crushing pop cans is soda pressing.
● People are making Apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
● I'm terrified of elevators, and I'm taking steps to avoid them.
● I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.
● Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.
● Need an ark? I Noah guy.
● Well, to be Frank, I'd have to change my name.
● Dogs can't operate MRI scanners, but Catscan.
● Be the person your dog thinks you are.
● Do German cats have multiple lives? Nein.
● Our mountains aren's just funny, they're hill areas.
● I hate this snow! No ... wait. I love this snow! Signed, Bi-Polar Bear.
● See I Made a Snowman.
● I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.
● The word "queue" is just a Q followed by four silent letters.
● Is the "s" or "c" in "scent" silent?
● A garage sale is actually a Garbage sale but the "b" is silent.
● Double negatives are a No-No in English.
● A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
● What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
● How do you throw a space party? You planet.
● It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
● What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac? A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
● I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
● Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants!
● 5 ants rented an apartment with 5 other ants. Now they are tenants.
● Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game? Because all the fans left!
● What do you get if you cross a setter and a pointer at Christmas time? A pointsetter.
● What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum - you can't beat it!
● If you don't C sharp before crossing the street, you'll B flat.
● Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
● How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
● Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. ~ Oscar Levant.
● I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
● I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook. Next time someone adds me, it will say "You are now friends with Benefits."
● The barber opened up a shavings account.
● I've failed the mathematics test so many times, I lost count.
● A line is length without breadth. ~ Euclid or Heron of Alexandria.
● A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
● Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
● A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
● Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
● How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
● I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
● Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."
● Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.
● I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.
● I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, "Aisle B, back."
● I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
Lexophilia
26. You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
27. Tim bought 2 goldfish and named them 1 and 2. If 1 died, he'll still have 2.
28. If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot ... it's on the right foot.
29. My brother wishes he could compose smutty verse as good as mine. Is this scribbling ribaldry?
30. The phone call interrupted my nap, and I never did get the rest.
31. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
32. I used to be afraid of purchasing residential property for the purpose of renting, but now I have an apartment complex.
33. Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. I never thought I'd hear myself say that.
34. It's amazing what two or more sinners can achieve together with synergy.
 Car License Plate: SINNERG |
35. I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
36. I'm inclined to be laid back.
37. I don't know what possessed me to attend that seance.
38. I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
39. John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
40. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
41. I tried to draw a rectangle but my pencil broke. Now it's a wrecked angle.
42. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
43. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe.
● What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
44. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
45. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
46. The batteries were given out free of charge.
47. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
48. A will is a dead giveaway.
49. If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
50. People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
51. I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home. It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
52. My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends.
53. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
54. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
55. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
56. Police were called to a day care center where a two-year-old was resisting a rest.
57. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
● If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.
58. If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.
59. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
60. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
61. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
62. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
● Literal recall is extraordinarily unimportant. ~ Sir Frederic Bartlett.
63. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
64. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
65. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
66. The guy that fell into the glass making machine made a spectacle of himself.
67. Cauterize: made eye contact with her.
68. Today is the oldest you've ever been, yet the youngest you'll ever be, [so enjoy this day while it lasts.] ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.
69. Tragedy isn't getting something or failure to get it; it's losing something you already have. ~ Euripides.
● Waste not fresh tears over old griefs. ~ Euripides.
70. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
71. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have. ~ Theodore Roosevelt.
72. Believe you can and you're halfway there. ~ Theodore Roosevelt.
73. Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. ~ Babe Ruth.
74. Don't sweat the petty stuff. And don't pet the sweaty stuff. ~ George Carlin.
75. I cook using the 4 food groups: Canned, Boxed, Bagged and Frozen. ~ Aunty Acid.
76. Someday is not a day of the week. ~ Denise Brennan-Nelson.
77. The harder I work, the luckier I get. ~ Gary Player.
78. Fall seven times and stand up eight. ~ Japanese Proverb.
79. Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
80. The world of reality has its limits; the world of imagination is boundless. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
81. Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear. ~ George Addair.
82. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin.
83. A group of chess enthusiasts were standing in the hotel lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to leave. "But why," they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
84. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. ~ Mark Twain.
● How old were you when you found out that "NEWSPAPER" means: North, East, West, South, Past and Present Event Report?
85. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle. ~ Unknown.
● He who buys what he does not need steals from himself. ~ Swedish proverb.
86. Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better. ~ Jim Rohn.
● My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." ~ Archbishop Desmond Tutu.
87. The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. ~ Muhammad Ali.
88. Don't count the days, make the days count. ~ Muhammad Ali.
89. It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● I shook up the world, I shook up the world. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● I am the greatest. ~ Muhammad Ali.
It is with much sadness to inform you that John G. Powers, known as the "Butterfly Man" for his interests in numismatics, philately and lepidopterology, a long-time butterfly collector, passed away on November 5, 2019 at the age of 69.
John was a wonderful, kind and thoughtful man. He gave me permission to take pictures of his beautiful butterfly collection and took time to explain things to me.
John Gordon Powers. February 28, 1950 - November 5, 2019. Obituary.
Honoring John G. Powers - November 17, 2019 in Kitchener, Ontario.
RIP John Powers, 'Butterfly Man' from Canadian Coin News, 29 Nov 2019.
90. The man who has no imagination has no wings. ~ Muhammad Ali.
91. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● Don't count the days; make the days count. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you're going to be right. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing. ~ Warren Buffett.
92. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. ~ Unknown.
93. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. ~ Unknown.
● Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet! ~ Unknown.
94. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. ~ Jack Handey.
95. Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. ~ Winston Churchill.
● Failure is success in progress. ~ Albert Einstein.
96. Success is never achieved alone, always with others. ~ Maggie Habieda, Fotografia Boutique.
97. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. ~ Will Rogers.
98. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. ~ Steven Wright.
● Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward. ~ Oscar Wilde.
99. Smart people learn from everything and everyone. Average people from their experience. Stupid people already have all the answers. ~ Socrates.
● A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. ~ Albert Einstein.
● The fool will always resort to insults when his capacity for intelligent debate is reached. ~ Unknown.
● The height of stupidity is most clearly demonstrated by the individual who ridicules something he knows nothing about. ~ Albert Einstein.
● When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. ~ Socrates.
100. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. ~ Unknown.
101. Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. ~ Swami Sivananda.
102. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments. ~ Unknown.
103. Time heals all wounds, but time also wounds all heels. ~ Unknown.
104. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
105. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
106. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
107. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
108. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
109. We drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.
110. Does "expect the unexpected" make the "unexpected expected"?
111. Why are "wise man" and "wise guy" opposites? And "overlook" and "oversee" opposites?
112. We recite at a play and play at a recital.
113. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
114. Rats know the way of rats. ~ Chinese saying.
115. Do not tear down the east wall to repair the west wall. ~ Chinese saying.
116. Of all the thirty-six alternatives, running away is the best. ~ Chinese saying.
117. Where a chest lies open, a righteous man may sin. ~ Chinese proverb.
118. The man who comes with a talk about others has himself an ax to grind. ~ Chinese saying.
119. A thousand cups of wine do not suffice when true friends meet, but half a sentence is too much when there is no meeting of minds. ~ Chinese saying.
120. It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. ~ Mark Twain.
121. When you give someone your whole heart and he doesn't want it, you cannot take it back. It's gone forever. ~ Sylvia Plath.
122. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself. ~ Andrew Murphy.
123. Love is blind, and greed insatiable. ~ Chinese proverb.
● It is not greed that drives the world but envy. ~ Warren Buffett.
124. If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. ~ Abraham Maslow.
125. I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. ~ George Burns.
126. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~ Mahatma Gandhi.
127. There is nothing in the world more precious than THANKFULNESS. It's the root of all HAPPINESS. ~ Unknown.
● It's not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy. ~ Unknown.
128. The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. ~ Alexander Chalmers.
● Life ends, when you stop dreaming,
Hope ends, when you stop believing,
Love ends when you stop caring; And,
Friend-ship ends when you stop sharing. ~ Unknown.
129. Can you read this? Figuratively Speaking: Example of a Brain Study.
Are you one of 55% of the people who can read the following?
Can you raed this? Olny 55 poeple out of 100 can.
F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng?
7H15 M3554G3
S3RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 15
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
If you can raed the abvoe, you have a sgtrane mnid, too.
Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can raed tihs. I cdnuolt bielvee that I cluod aulaclty uendsatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.
Azanmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this, forwrad it.
130. Life is a promise; fulfill it. ~ Mother Teresa.
131. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. ~ Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.
● We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~ Buzzie Bavasi.
132. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! ~ Pericles (430 BC).
133. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. ~ Winston Churchill.
● (In plain English) The main vice of capitalism is the uneven distribution of property. The main vice of socialism is the even distribution of misery. ~ Winston Churchill.
● Socialism is a grand idea until you run out of other peoples' money. ~ Margaret Thatcher.
134. Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding. ~ Sri Chinmoy.
135. Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest. It's about who came, and never left your side. ~ Broken Friendship Quotes, collected by Uttara Manohar.
136. We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry. ~ Broken Friendship Quotes, collected by Uttara Manohar.
137. Give me the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters: abcdef, i.e. give me your feedback.
138. Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
139. Whiteboards are remarkable.
140. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
141. Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%. They blame it on the cost of living.
142. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall. ~ Pun of the Day.
143. Alarms: What an octopus is.
144. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. ~ Kurt Cobain.
● It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. ~ André Gide, Autumn Leaves.
145. You can agree with me, or you can be wrong. ~ Edgar Argo.
146. In London, one man to another:
"You know, my daughter has married an Irishman."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly."
147. What do you call a male ladybird?
148. Absolute seriousness is never without a dash of humor. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
149. Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. ~ George Bernard Shaw.
150. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Ever wonder why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
• If Con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?
• If flying is so Safe, why do they call the airport the Terminal?
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• Doctors put drugs of which they know little into bodies of which they know less for diseases of which they know nothing at all. ~ Voltaire.
• Before you heal someone, ask him if he's willing to give up the things that make him sick. ~ Hippocrates.
• The natural healing force within each of us is the greatest force in getting well. ~ Hippocrates.
• Wherever the art of Medicine is loved, there is also a love of Humanity. ~ Hippocrates.
151. From So You Think French Is Hard? Try English ... PD Workshop: Creating a Basic Web Page - Web Page 36 by Lorenzo Morra:
• I take it you already know of tough and bough and cough and dough.
• Others may stumble but not you, on hiccough, thorough, tough and through.
• Well done! And now you wish perhaps to learn of less familiar traps?
• Beware of heard, a dreadful word that looks like beard and sounds like bird.
• And dead -- it's said like bed, not bead -- For goodness' sake, don't call it deed.
• Watch out for meat and great and threat (they rhyme with suite and straight and debt).
• A moth is not a moth in mother, nor both in bother, broth in brother.
• And here is not a match for there, nor dear and fear or bear and pear.
• And then there's dose and rose and lose, just look them up -- goose and choose,
• And cork and work, and card and ward, and front and font, and word and sword,
• And do and go, and lone and gone, and wart and cart -- Come, come! I've hardly made a start!
• A dreadful language? Man alive!
• I mastered it when I was five!
Yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. ~ Unknown.
HOMOGRAPHS:
• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• The farm was used to produce produce.
• The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
• We must polish the Polish furniture.
• He could lead if he would get the lead out.
• The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
• Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
• A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
• When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• I did not object to the object.
• The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
• The buck does funny things when the does are present.
• A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
• To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
• You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
• The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
• Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
• I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
152. This drain must be opened up because it is stopped up. See more UP words at Are You UP for This?
153. Patient: "I've hurt my arm in several places."
Doctor: "Well, don't go there anymore."
154. What you don't see with your eyes, don't invent with your mouth. ~ Yiddish proverb.
• The most beautiful eyes are those that see the beauty in others. ~ Unknown.
• Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. ~ Mark Twain.
155. Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. ~ Albert Einstein.
156. Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them. ~ Albert Einstein.
● A clever person solves a problem A wise person avoids it. ~ Albert Einstein.
157. Due to their genes, redheads need about 20% more anesthesia than non-redheads.
● People with straight hair want curly, people with curly want straight ... ~ Rita Rudner, "Naked Beneath My Clothes".
● You don't have to be a movie star for me to do your hair, when you sit in my chair you're my movie star. ~ Vincent Roppatte.
● Hair - 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2024, 2025. Google Web Album.
158. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ~ Grace Hansen.
159. The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters. ~ Harold Nicolson.
160. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. ~ Bill Clinton.
161. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. ~ Barack Obama.
162. Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. ~ Tommy Lee.
163. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ~ Oscar Wilde.
● How many wives can a man have? 16 - 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, and 4 poorer.
164. Winston Churchill vs. Lady Astor
Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.
Churchill: Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
She called him a drunk and he said, "Tomorrow I will be sober, but you will still be ugly".
165. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. ~ Unknown.
166. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. ~ Unknown.
167. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel).
168. It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see. ~ Henry David Thoreau.
● Spiegel lügen nicht! (German translation: Mirrors don't lie!) ~ German Saying.
169. New York Mayor Ed Koch to Andrew Kirtzmanafter, the reporter: I can explain this to you, I can't comprehend it for you.
170. If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself. ~ Albert Einstein.
● Any fool can know. The point is to understand. ~ Albert Einstein.
171. Georgia Guidestones
Info from Wikipedia and other sources: The Georgia Guidestones are a granite monument erected in 1980 in Elbert County, Georgia, in the United States. A message consisting of a set of ten guidelines or principles is engraved on the Georgia Guidestones [June 1979] in eight different languages, one language on each face of the four large upright stones. The monument dubbed as the "American Stonehenge" consists of five granite slabs, each weighing over 20 tons, are placed to form a star pattern. Moving clockwise around the structure from due north, these languages are: English, Spanish, Swahili, Hindi, Hebrew, Arabic, Chinese, and Russian.
1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
2. Guide reproduction wisely - improving fitness and diversity.
3. Unite humanity with a living new language.
4. Rule passion - faith - tradition - and all things with tempered reason.
5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
8. Balance personal rights with social duties.
9. Prize truth - beauty - love - seeking harmony with the infinite.
10. Be not a cancer on the earth - Leave room for nature - Leave room for nature.
172. I've never met a Bitter person who was Thankful, or a Thankful person who was Bitter. ~ Nick Vujicic, LifeWithoutLimbs.org.
173. It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It is the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live. ~ Bette Midler.
● If a man says he is not afraid of dying, he is either lying or he is a Gurkha. ~ Indian Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw, nicknamed "Sam the Brave".
Better to die than be a coward. ~ Ethos of Gurkhas, who have lived by it for over 200 years as a part of the British and, later, the Indian Armed Forces.
174. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. ~ Mark Twain.
175. Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable. ~ Oscar Wilde.
176. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally. ~ Oscar Wilde.
177. It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends. ~ Unknown.
178. Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders? ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.
179. Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted. ~ Albert Einstein.
180. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
181. The only way to have a friend is to be one. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
182. As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
183. What is not started today is never finished tomorrow. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832).
184. He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
185. Some people die at 25 and aren't buried until 75. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
186. Content makes poor men rich; discontent makes rich men poor. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
● The rich invest in time, the poor invest in money. ~ Warren Buffett.
187. By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
188. In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
189. Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
190. Common sense is not so common. ~ Voltaire.
● Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. ~ Albert Einstein.
191. If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples, then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. ~ George Bernard Shaw.
192. Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln.
193. It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. ~ John Stuart Mill - Utilitarianism, pg. 13.
194. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~ Winston Churchill.
195. The mind is everything. What you think you become. ~ Buddha.
196. A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. ~ Winston Churchill.
197. The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see. ~ Winston Churchill.
198. Nobody can hurt me without my permission. ~ Mahatma Gandhi.
199. An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. ~ Mahatma Gandhi.
200. The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles. ~ Mahatma Gandhi.
201. An injured friend is the bitterest of foes. ~ Thomas Jefferson.
202. I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. ~ Robert McCloskey.
203. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. ~ Unknown.
204. Never cut what you can untie. ~ Robert Frost.
205. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ~ The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971).
● Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. ~ The Senility Prayer by Unknown.
● Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. ~ Stephen Hawking.
● The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. ~ Albert Einstein.
● To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. ~ Winston Churchill.
● Turn your wounds into wisdom. ~ Oprah Winfrey.
● Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain. ~ Robert Gary Lee.
206. A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion. ~ Chinese Proverb.
● What the wise do in the beginning, fools do in the end. ~ Warren Buffett.
● Our world is not divided by race, color, gender, or religion. Our world is divided into wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by race, color, gender, or religion. ~ Nelson Mandela.
● Being white doesn't make you a racist, and being black doesn't make you a slave. Being an idiot, however, comes in both colors. ~ Unknown.
● It doesn't matter if you're black or white, the only color that really matters is green. ~ Family Guy.
● The quote "Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color" is often attributed to comedian and actor George Carlin. It reflects his humorous take on societal issues, particularly concerning race and discrimination. This line captures Carlin's style of using humor to provoke thought about serious topics. ~ Assistant.
trong. And it doesn't matter which color does the hating. It's just plain wrong. ~ Muhammad Ali.
● Muhammad Ali's mother, Odessa Clay, always told him: "Make the world a little better than you found it." And Ali did. He made it much better. ~ Gene Kilroy.
● Why is Everything White? - Muhammad Ali. YouTube video, 1:09 min. Published by IIAlparslan, Aug 16, 2020. "Boxing legend Muhammad Ali, who died in 2016, explained how he used to ask his mother about white representation in an interview with Parkinson in 1971." Muhammad Ali (Jan 17, 1942 - June 3, 2016) was born Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr.
207. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~ Short Funny Quotes.
● A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty. ~ Rudyard Kipling.
208. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. ~ Unknown.
209. A blind person asked St. Anthony: "Can there be anything worse than losing one's eye sight?" He replied: "Yes, losing your vision!"
210: The English language has some wonderfully collective nouns for the various groups of living organisms:
• an Ambush of Tigers, Widows
• an Army of Caterpillars, Frogs
• an Aurora of Polar Bears
• a Babble of Barbers
• a Band of Robbers
• a Bask of Crocodiles
• a Battery of Barracudas
• a Bed of Clams, Cockles, Mussels, Oysters
• a Bloat of Hippopotami
• a Board of Trustees
• a Brood of Hens, Chickens
• a Cast of Actors
• a Charm of Hummingbirds
• a Choir of Singers
• a Clan of Hyenas
• a Class of Students
• a Clew of Worms
• a Cloud of Bats, Grasshoppers
• a Clutter of Spiders
• a Cohort of Zebras
• a Colony of Ants, Beavers, Rabbits, Rats, Seals, Termites, Wasps
• a Company of Parrots
• a Congregation of Magpies, Worshippers
• a Congress of Baboons
• a Crash of Rhinoceroses
• a Crew of Sailors
• a Culture of Bacteria
• a Den of Snakes, Thieves
• a Destruction of Wildcats
• an Eloquence of Lawyers
• an Exaltation of Doves, Larks
• a Faculty of Academics
• a Fall of Lambs
• a Family of Otters, Sardines
• a Flight of Butterflies, Dragons, Insects, Pigeons, Swallows
• a Flock of Birds, Camels, Chickens, Lice, Sheep, Tourists, Turkeys
• a Flush of Ducks
• a Gaggle of Geese, Women
• a Gang of Buffalos, Hoodlums, Workmen
• a Herd of Cattle, Cows, Dinosaurs, Llamas, Moose, Seahorses, Swans, Yaks
• a Host of Angels
• a Huddle of Walruses
• an Illusion of Magicians
• an Intrusion of Cockroaches
• a Knot of Toads
• a Leap of Leopards
• a Litter of Pups
• a Mess of Iguanas
• a Mischief of Mice
• a Mob of Kangaroos, Wallabyies, Wombats
• a Murder of Crows, Ravens, Rooks
• a Nursery of Raccoons
• an Orchestra of Musicians
• a Pack of Hounds, Wolves
• a Parliament of Owls
• a Picket of Strikers
• a Pity of Prisoners
• a Plague of Locusts
• a Pod of Pelicans
• a Posse of Police, Sheriffs
• a Prickle of Porcupines
• a Pride of Lions, Ostriches
• a Quiver of Cobras
• a Rhumba of Rattlesnakes
• a Rookery of Penguins
• a Run of Poultry
• a School of Fish, Porpoises, Whales
• a Scourge of Mosquitoes
• a Shiver of Sharks
• a Shoal of Fish, Mackerels, Minnows
• a Shrewdness of Apes
• a Slate of Candidates
• a Squabble of Seagulls
• a Squad of Soldiers
• a Stable of Horses
• a Stuck of Jellyfish
• a Stud of Mares
• a Surfeit of Skunks
• a Swarm of Bees, Eels, Flies
• a Team of Athletes, Oxen
• a Tribe of Natives
• a Troop of Boy Scouts, Chimps, Monkeys
• a Troupe of Acrobats, Minstrels, Performers, Shrimps
• a Watch of Nightingales
~ From: Collective Nouns.
211. I think, therefore I am.
Cogito ergo sum. (Latin).
Je pense donc je suis. (French). ~ René Descartes, Discourse on Method (1637)
Ich denke, also bin ich. (German).
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think. ~ George Carlin.
I am what I am. That's all. ~ Popeye the Sailor Man.
212. A wistful waste makes a woeful want. ~ Virgil B. Lawrence.
213. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou.
214. It's better to be judged by twelve than to be carried by six. ~ A police and military saying.
215. Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you. ~ Unknown.
216. The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes, the response time of a .357 is 1,400 feet per second. ~ Unknown.
217. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
218. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
219. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
220. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
221. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
222. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
223. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
224. There are no short cuts to any place worth going. ~ Beverly Sills.
225. A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members. ~ David Coblitz.
226. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
227. Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide? ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
228. We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are. ~ Anais Nin.
229. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
230. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
231. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. ~ From Paul Niquette's paraprosdokian.
● The four seasons in California are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought. ~ 2021.
232. There's a price on your head? Take it! ~ From Jewish Paraprosdokians.
233. Laughter is the best medicine since you don't have health insurance. ~ From Jewish Paraprosdokians.
234. A friend in need is usually something you don't need. ~ From Jewish Paraprosdokians.
235. Men do make passes at girls who wear glasses, it depends on their frames. ~ Dorothy Parker.
236. Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~ Unknown.
237. Aspire to inspire before you expire. ~ Eugene Bell, Jr.
238. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~ Hilary Cooper.
239. George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. ~ George Carlin.
240. The future will soon be a thing of the past. ~ George Carlin.
241. Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey. ~ George Carlin.
242. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ George Carlin.
243. "No comment" is a comment. ~ George Carlin.
244. So far, this is the oldest I've been. ~ George Carlin.
245. (On Christianity) Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. ~ George Carlin.
246. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ George Carlin.
● Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. ~ Albert Einstein.
247. When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion. ~ Robert Pirsig.
248. All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays. ~ Cathy Ladman.
249. Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does. ~ Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) - From Quotations - Volume 5. Note: "Constantinople" is now called Istanbul.
250. A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. ~ Abba Eban.
251. What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds. ~ Wayne Dyer.
252. Your subconscious mind is the gatekeeper of your comfort zone. ~ Unknown.
● Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable. ~ Finley Peter Dunne.
253. Give me a child and I'll shape him into anything. ~ B. F. Skinner.
254. If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours! ~ Unknown.
255. Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. ~ Albert Einstein.
256. Some people live and learn, others live but never learn. ~ I. Lee, Jan 26, 2013.
257. I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. ~ Gestalt prayer. (Frederick Perls quote).
258. He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future. ~ Quevedo (Spanish poet, satirist, 1580-1645).
259. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. ~ Unknown.
● A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. ~ Charles M. Schwab.
260. As we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do. ~ Unknown.
● Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. ~ Sydney J. Harris.
261. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. ~ Dr. Bob Moorehead.
● Living is the art of getting used to what we didn't expect. ~ Eleanor C. Wood.
● A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one. ~ George R. R. Martin.
262. Anything you really want, you can attain, if you really go after it. ~ Wayne Dyer.
263. Conflict cannot survive without your participation. ~ Wayne Dyer.
264. A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. ~ Robert Frost.
265. The worst disability is a bad attitude. ~ Michael Muir.
266. Making mistakes is not a problem, not catching those mistakes is where the trouble starts. ~ Ed Berger.
267. Do something for somebody every day for which you do not get paid. ~ Albert Schweitzer.
268. The greatest joys are those that are shared. ~ Leon Fleisher.
269. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~ Ogden Nash.
● Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals or self-worth. ~ Anonymous.
● Toxic people only change their victims, never themselves. ~ Alex Ferman.
270. For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of potential happiness. ~ Quoted by Miriam Herwig - From Quotations - Volume 5.
271. Real heroes don't save the world, they serve the world. ~ Quoted by Linda Bird - From Quotations - Volume 5.
272. The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. ~ Unknown.
● If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen.
273. What the mind doesn't understand, it worships or fears. ~ Alice Walker.
274. Fear makes strangers of people who could be friends. ~ Shirley Maclaine.
275. If you planted hope today in any hopeless heart,
If someone's burden was lighter because you did your part,
If you caused a laugh that chased a tear away,
If tonight your name is mentioned when someone kneels to pray,
Then your day was well spent. ~ Anonymous.
276. Don't confuse what you have a right to do with what's right to do. ~ William Bennett.
● What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right. ~ Albert Einstein.
277. The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say NO to almost everything. ~ Warren Buffett.
278. Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. ~ American Indian Proverb.
279. Doc, why is it that when I speak to God it's a prayer, and when God speaks to me it's schizophrenia? ~ Russian Joke - From Quotations - Volume 5.
● If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic. ~ Unknown.
● Because you cannot see him, God is everywhere. ~ Yasunari Kawabata.
280. The cardinal doctrine of a fanatic's creed is that his enemies are the enemies of God. ~ Andrew Dickson White.
281. Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. ~ Albert Einstein.
282. Trust is the first step to love. ~ Munshi Premchand.
283. He who wants to accomplish finds a way. He who doesn't, finds an excuse. ~ Hector D. Cantu and Carlos Castellanos in Baldo (Cartoon) - From Quotations - Volume 5.
284. Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is. ~ William James.
285. Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to to hide them. ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld.
286. Men build too many walls and not enough bridges. ~ Isaac Newton.
287. Journalists do not believe the lies of politicians, but they do repeat them, which is even worse! ~ Michel Colucci.
288. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. ~ Wayne Gretzky.
289. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. ~ Mary Kay Ash.
290. Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. ~ Confucius.
291. In the end only kindness matters. ~ Jim Garnett.
292. Talent is God-given; be humble. Fame is man-given; be thankful. Conceit is self-given; be careful. ~ John R. Wooden.
293. In one and the same fire, clay grows hard and wax melts. ~ Francis Bacon.
294. Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. ~ Robert Orben.
295. Be careful whom you trust. Salt and sugar look the same. ~ Unknown.
● Don't throw sodium chloride at people. That's a salt.
296. The left wing and the right wing belong to the same bird. ~ Unknown.
297. He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened. ~ Lao Tzu.
298. Fantasy is the impossible made probable. Science fiction is the improbable made possible. ~ Rod Serling.
299. We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further. ~ Richard Dawkins.
300. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. ~ Unknown.
301. Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. ~ Mark Twain.
302. The truth always turns out to be simpler than you thought. ~ Richard Feynman.
303. It's easy to make good decisions when there are no bad options. ~ Robert Half.
304. The search for someone to blame is always successful. ~ Robert Half.
305. Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald.
306. A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. ~ Ambrose Bierce.
307. Worry is a misuse of imagination. ~ Dan Zadra in Together We Can.
308. Speak clearly, if you speak at all;
Carve every word, before you let it fall. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
● Swiftest horse cannot overtake the word once spoken. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Four horses cannot overtake the tongue. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Water and words are easy to pour but impossible to recover. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Look before you leap. ~ Idiom.
● Denke, bevor du sprichst. ~ German saying. Translation: Think before you speak.
● Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. ~ Abraham Lincoln.
● It's better to be silent than be a fool. ~ Harper Lee.
● Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. ~ Proverbs 29:20.
309. English is a funny language. A fat chance and a slim chance are the same thing. ~ Jack Herbert.
310. The height of embarrassment is when two sets of eyes meet through a keyhole. ~ Unknown.
311. No matter how busy a man is, he is never too busy to stop and talk about how busy he is. ~ Unknown.
● Some talk to you in their free time, and some free their time to talk to you. Learn the difference. ~ Unknown.
312. Leopards! Be ready for a spot check! ~ Graffiti.
313. One holds his job by knowing how. One becomes boss by knowing why. ~ Perry Tanksley.
314. Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. ~ Mark Twain.
315. The greatest influence on a child begins with the birth of his parents. ~ Les Crane.
● An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. ~ Unknown.
316. Accept the fact that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. ~ Scott Adams.
317. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~ Chili Davis.
318. There are three ingredients in the good life: Learning, earning and yearning. ~ Christopher Morley.
319. It is better to be able to appreciate things you cannot have than to have things you are not able to appreciate. ~ Unknown.
320. Society takes action only when gangrene sets in. ~ H. D. Doan.
321. There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. ~ George Santayana.
322. Difficulties mastered are opportunities won. ~ Flickr.com.
● Opportunities come infrequently. When it rains gold, put out the bucket, not the thimble. ~ Warren Buffett.
323. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent. ~ Langston Coleman.
● Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. ~ Seneca.
324. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. ~ Andy Rooney.
325. O Lord, help my words to be gracious and tender today, for tomorrow I may have to eat them. ~ Unknown.
● Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. ~ Unknown.
● The mouth should have three gatekeepers. Is it true? Is it kind? And is it necessary? ~ Arabic proverb.
● Whoever keepeth his mouth and his tongue, keepeth his soul from trouble. ~ Proverb 21:23.
●
326. The trouble with half-truths is that people tend to believe the wrong half. ~ Unknown.
327. A half truth is a whole lie. ~ Yiddish Proverb.
328. He who's not busy living is busy dying. ~ Bob Dylan.
● The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives. ~ Albert Einstein.
329. The question is not how busy we are, but what are we busy about. ~ Henry David Thoreau.
330. Averages are composed of all abnormalities. ~ C. VanDenBrink.
331. Average is the best of the worst and the worst of the best. ~ Unknown.
● The most expensive products aren't always the best ... and the cheapest aren't always the worst. ~ Grant W., AFresherHome.com.
332. Quality is remembered long after price is forgotten. ~ Julian Morel.
333. If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? ~ Unknown.
334. Only the man who is below the average in economic ability desires equality; those who are conscious of superior ability desire freedom; and in the end superior ability has its way. ~ Will and Ariel Durant.
335. Life is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming. ~ Matthew Arnold.
336. If I accept the sunshine and warmth, I must also accept the thunder and the lightning. ~ Kahlil Gibran.
337. There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children: one is roots, the other, wings. ~ Hodding Carter.
● It's not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. ~ Ann Landers,
338. To love someone is to stay close enough to touch, leaving space enough to grow. ~ Unknown.
339. A ship in a harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. ~ Socrates.
340. No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~ Aesop.
341. What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
342. Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in our own sunshine. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.
343. For every complex question there is a simple answer. And it's wrong. ~ H. L. Mencken.
344. A narrow mind has a broad tongue. ~ Arabian Proverb.
345. Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly. ~ Louis Ginsberg.
346. When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us. ~ Alexander Graham Bell.
347. Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer. ~ Charles M. Schultz.
● Go to bed a little smarter each day. ~ Warren Buffett.
348. Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. ~ Arnold H. Glasow.
349. The most important things in life aren't things. ~ Anthony J. D'Angelo.
● The best things in life aren't things. ~ Unknown.
● Die besten Sachen im Leben gibt es umsonst. ~ German saying. Translation: The best things in life are free.
● The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. ~ Mark Twain.
● View Overcoming hopelessness | Nick Vujicic | TEDxNoviSad. YouTube video, 14:53 min. Published by TEDx Talks, Oct 17, 2012.
350. People without hope for tomorrow have a very difficult time living for today. ~ Doug Kanney.
351. If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done. ~ Thomas Jefferson.
● To be is to do. ~ Socrates.
● To do is to be. ~ Jean-Paul Sartre.
● Do be do be do. ~ Frank Sinatra.
352. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. ~ Albert Einstein.
353. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. ~ Beverly Sills.
354. To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might just be the world. ~ Unknown.
355. Anyone can become angry - that is easy, but to become angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy. ~ Aristotle.
356. Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. ~ Will Rogers.
357. Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. ~ Buddha.
358. The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ~ Elbert Hubbard.
● A man who has commited a mistake and doesn't correct it, is committing another mistake. ~ Confucius.
359. We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. ~ Thomas S. Monson.
360. Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible. ~ John Wooden.
361. Worry is as useless as a handle on a snowball. ~ Mitzi Chandler.
362. It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret. ~ Jacqueline "Jackie" Joyner-Kersee.
363. Don't count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count. ~ Anonymous.
364. Happiness is inward, and not outward; and so, it does not depend on what we have, but on what we are. ~ Henry Van Dyke.
365. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~ Dalai Lama.
● A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~ Steve Maraboli.
366. A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose: a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve. ~ John Maxwell.
367. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. ~ Albert Einstein.
368. Definition of Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
369. Definition of a Nillionaire: A person with little or no money.
370. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. ~ Unknown.
371. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. ~ From Paraprosdokians - English Forums.
372. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. ~ Casey Stengel.
373. To love is nothing. To be loved is something. To love and be loved is everything. ~ Unknown.
374. Church Bulletins as they actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Adapted from a variety of sources including Funny Church Bulletin Board Notices):
● The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
● The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
● Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
● The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
● Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
● Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
● For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
● Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
● The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
● Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
● A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
● At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
● Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
● Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
● The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
● Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m. - prayer and medication to follow.
● The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
● Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
● The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
● Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
● Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
● Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
● Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
● The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
● Join us tonight for prayers, coffee and fresh beagles.
● Ushers will eat latecomers.
● The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
● The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
● This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
● Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor."
● This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
● The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
● The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
● Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
● The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
● Wrinkled with burdens? Come to church for a faith lift!
● This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
375. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. ~ Vivian Greene.
376. When we do right, no one remembers. When we do wrong, no one forgets. ~ Hell's Angels.
● Tell people what they want to hear and you can be wrong indefinitely without penalty. ~ Morgan Housel.
377. Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~ Bob Hope.
378. I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
388. Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
389. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!
390. Girls have an unfair advantage over men: If they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. ~ Yul Brynner.
391. omIf it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. ~ Dave Allen.
392. A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. ~ Milton Berle.
393. It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road. ~ Unknown.
394. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. ~ Steve Fergosi.
● How to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. ~ Unknown.
395. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves. ~ Rev. William J. H. Boetcker, 1916.
On Welfare:
● You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
● What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
● The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. ~ Unknown.
396. Thinkers think and doers do. But until the thinkers do and the doers think, progress will be just another word in the already overburdened vocabulary by sense. ~ François de La Rochefoucauld.
397. There may be a time when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. ~ Elie Wiesel.
398. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches. ~ Alice Roosevelt Longworth.
399. Don't go through life, grow through life. ~ Eric Butterworth.
400. The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions. ~ Alfred Adler.
401. Den größten Fehler, den man im Leben machen kann, ist, immer Angst zu haben, einen Fehler zu machen. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Translated from German: The biggest mistake you can make in life is always being afraid of making a mistake.
402. The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~ Robert Byrne.
● The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. ~ Pablo Picasso.
403. To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance. ~ Buddha.
404. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Henry David Thoreau (American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862)
405. Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference. ~ Unknown.
406. If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road. ~ Unknown.
407. Nichts ist so beständig wie der Wechsel! ~ German saying. Translation: Nothing is as constant as change!
● The only thing constant in life is change. ~ François de La Rochefoucauld.
408. Few people have the wisdom to prefer the criticism that would do them good, to the praise that deceives them. ~ François de La Rochefoucauld.
409. To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art. ~ François de La Rochefoucauld.
410. Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two Hearts and a Diamond. By the end, you wish you had a Club and a Spade. ~ Aunty Acid.
411. A slave is he who cannot speak his thoughts. ~ Euripides.
412. Every end has a new beginning. ~ Carissa Ciciarelli.
413. Strange, Interesting Facts, and Useless Knowledge:
Note: Some of the following statements may or may not be true or factual. If they seem suspicious, check them out on Snopes.com.
● Each King on playing cards represent a King in real history:
♠ Spades: King David
♣ Clubs: Alexander the Great
♥ Hearts: Charlesmagne - Only King without a moustache on a standard playing card.
♦ Diamonds: Julius Caesar
● 50 'Weird Facts' About the World That Might Give You a Fresh Perspective by Jonas Grineviĉius and Austėja Akavickaitė, boredpanda, History, Science &
Technology, Jul 4, 2023.
Miscellaneous:
● The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad.
● Samhainophobia is the the fear of Halloween.
● The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth is called Arachibutyrophobia.
● Alice in Wonderland syndrome (AIWS), also known as Todd's syndrome or dysmetropsia, is a neurological disorder that distorts perception.
● Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
● The typical lead pencil can draw a line that is 35 miles long.
● The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
● The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts.
● 73 percent of people who buy flowers on Valentine's Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.
Plants, Food, Drink:
● Almonds are a member of the peach family.
● The Amazon rainforest produces more than 20% of the world's oxygen supply.
● There are so many kinds of apples that if you ate a new one every day, it would take you over 20 years to try them all.
● Did you know that there is an actual phobia in which sufferers experience fear of seeing an empty beer glass? This disorder is called Cenosillicaphobia.
● Black pepper is the most popular spice in the world.
● Broccoli is actually a flower.
● Honey is the only food that does not spoil.
● Macadamia nuts are not sold in their shells because it takes 300 psi (pounds of pressure per square inch) to crack the shell. They are the toughest nuts in the world.
● Early dynamite used peanuts as ingredients. When dynamite was first produced, one of its ingredients was peanut.
● Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F.
● Peanut oil was used to produce glycerol, an ingredient in nitroglycerin. Nitroglycerin is used in the manufacture of explosives, specifically dynamite.
● One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen.
● The first Jack O'Lanterns were actually made from turnips.
● Roses symbolize peace and war, love and forgiveness.
White roses are for true love.
Red roses are often considered the universal symbol of love.
Red roses are for passion.
Typical bright red rose indicates romance.
Pink roses symbolize gratitude, grace, and joy.
Purple roses indicate a fascination or adoration.
Purple roses are often associated with royalty and splendor and were often given to queens and kings.
Lavender roses mean "love at first sight."
Yellow roses are a symbol of friendship and caring.
Orange roses indicate enthusiasm and passion.
Brown roses convey a feeling of warmth, intimacy, romance and stability.
White roses are a symbol of humility, purity, innocence and in some cases, chastity.
Often referred to as the bridal rose, a white rose is associated with young love.
White roses are also a sign of respect or remembrance.
Since the blue rose itself is a rarity in nature, it symbolizes the impossible, or the unattainable.
Green roses are a sign of fertility, abundance and copiousness.
Black roses symbolize death and mourning.
Black roses are often used at funerals as they mean sadness, farewell, bereavement, loss and mortality.
Black roses are technically a very dark shade of red, purple, or maroon roses.
Animals, Birds, Reptiles, Insects, etc.:
● In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
● The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.
● A box jellyfish sting can lead to cardiovascular collapse and death within minutes, making it the most venomous creature on Earth.
● Goats have rectangular pupils.
● Morocco tourist site where goats 'climb trees' may not be all it seems by
Our Foreign Staff, Telegraph.co.uk, Apr 23, 2019.
● Chicks, like humans, count from left to right. Audubon.org: Birds in the News.
● The closest living relative to the Tyrannosaurus rex is the chicken. The Tyrannosaurus rex also shares ancestry with ostriches and alligators.
● An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
● Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
● Cheetahs are the fastest land animal and can reach speeds up to 72 mph.
● One of the most dangerous insects in the world is the common housefly. Houseflies carry and transmit more diseases than any other creatures in the world.
● Scallops have up to 100 eyes around the edge of their mantles.
● Sea otters hold hands while they sleep, so they don't drift apart at night.
● A snail can sleep for three years.
● The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
● The bloodhound is the only animal in the world whose evidence is admissible in court.
● For more than 3,000 years, Carpenter Ants have been used to close wounds in India, Asia, Australia and South America. See 11 Biomaterials that can heal the human body. Including, yes, biting ants.
● At 188 decibels, the whistle of the blue whale is the loudest sound produced by any animal.
● A blue whale's tongue is bigger than an elephant.
● A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
● Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
● To swim with dolphins is inexpensive.
To swim with sharks, cost me an arm and a leg. ~ Unknown.
● A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.
● If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
● Starfish have no brains. A starfish doesn't have a brain in its head like we do. Instead its entire nervous system acts like a distributed brain. Starfish from Wiki.Answers.
● A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
● 24 rabbits released in Victoria (Australia) in 1859 grew to a population of 10 billion in less than 70 years.
● When a male bee climaxes, their testicles explode then they die.
● A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
● Wombat feces are cubic.
● The poisonous part of chocolate for our four-legged friends is a chemical called theobromine. While harmless to humans, it can lead to epileptic seizures and death in dogs. Also, don't feed your dog with walnuts or raw onions. (See: What to Do if Your Dog Eats Chocolate and Foods That Are Hazardous to Dogs).
● The Basenji dog is the only dog that is not able to bark.
● Dogs and Humans are the only animals with prostates.
● Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
● A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
● A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
● A duck's quack has no echo, and nobody knows why.
● A cockroach can live 9 days without its head. It only dies because it cannot eat.
● A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
● Difference between a spider and a web designer: A spider loves finding bugs in his web.
● "Arachnophobia" is an intense fear of spiders.
● Butterflies taste with their feet.
● A leech has 32 brains.
● Slugs have four noses.
● The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
● Mosquitoes pee on you when they suck your blood.
● A hedgebog's heart beats an average of 300 times a minute.
● A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
● Giant tortoises from the Galapagos can survive without food or water for up to a year.
● All polar bears are left handed.
● Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Hippos and Rhinos have only two knees and can jump. Elephants have four knees).
● Emus cannot walk backwards.
● Kangaroos cannot walk. They can only jump. (Ankle bones of Kangaroos have been adapted for bipedal hopping).
● Female kangaroos have three vaginas. Quora explains why.
● A new born kangaroo is small enough to fit in a spoon.
● Most tigers have yellow eyes, but white tigers usually have blue eyes, due to the gene for blue eyes being linked to the gene for white fur.
● The stripes on each tiger are unique, like human fingerprints.
● Just like housecats, the markings on a tiger's fur are also found on their skin, so even a shaved tiger would still show its stripes.
● Birds, reptiles and amphibians have varying number of vertebrae in their necks, but mammals, regardless of size of animal or length of the animal's neck, only have seven. As a rule, all mammals have the same number of vertebrae in their necks whether they are a giraffe, a mouse, or a human. Sloths and manatees are exceptions to this rule having abnormal numbers of cervical vertebrae.
● A chicken with red earlobes will produce brown eggs, and a chicken with white earlobes will produce white eggs.
● All pandas are owned by China. China rents a pair of giant pandas out to zoos for $1 million a year for a minimum of 10 years.
● Did you know on the Canary Islands, there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing - not one canary there either!
● What do big corporations and mosques have in common? They both care about the prophet.
● What does Jeff Bezos do every night before bed? He puts his pajamazon.
Business:
● Most valuable brands worldwide in 2022 from Statista. 1. Apple. 2. Amazon. 3. Google. 4. Microsoft. 5. Walmart. 6. Samsung Group. 7. Facebook. 8. Industrial and Commercial Bank of China (ICBC). 9. Huawei. 10. Verizon. 11. China Construction Bank. 12. Toyota. 13. WeChat. 14. Agricultural Bank of China. 15. Mercedes-Benz. 16. State Grid. 17. T (Deutsche Telekom). 18. TikTok/Douyin. 19. Disney. 20. Home Depot. 21. Ping An. 22. TaoBao. 23. Shell. 24. Bank of China. 25. Tmall.
● SPECIAL REPORT
50 Most Valuable Brands in the World 2021 by Grant Suneson, Special Report, Wall Street, May13, 2021. 1. Apple. 2. Amazon. 3. Google. 4. Microsoft. 5. Samsung. 6. Walmart. 7. Facebook. 8. Industrial & Commercial Bank of China (ICBC). 9. Verizon. 10. WeChat. 11. China Construction Bank. 12. Toyota. 13. Mercedes-Benz. 14. Tencent (QQ). 15. Huawei. 16. State Grid. 17. Ping An. 18. Taobao. 19. Agricultural Bank of China. 20. Home Depot. 21. AT&T. 22. Disney. 23. T (Deutsche Telekom). 24. Tmall. 25. Bank of China.
● The World's Most Valuable Brands 2020 from Forbes: 1. Apple. 2. Google. 3. Microsoft. 4. Amazon. 5. Facebook. 6. Coca-Cola. 7. Disney. 8. Samsung. 9. Louis Vuitton. 10. McDonald's. 11. Toyota. 12. Intel. 13. NIKE. 14. AT&T. 15. Cisco. 16. Oracle. 17. Verizon. 18. Visa. 19. Walmart. 20. GE. 21. Budweiser. 22. SAP. 23. Mercedes-Benz. 24. IBM. 25. Marlboro.
● The World's Most Valuable Brands 2019 from Forbes: 1. Apple. 2. Google. 3. Microsoft. 4. Amazon. 5. Facebook. 6. Coca-Cola. 7. Samsung. 8. Disney. 9. Toyota. 10. McDonald's. 11. AT&T. 12. Louis Vuitton. 13. Intel. 14. NIKE. 15. Cisco. 16. GE. 17. Mercedes-Benz. 18. Oracle. 19. Verizon. 20. IBM. 21. BMW. 22. SAP. 23. Marlboro. 24. Budweiser. 25. Visa.
●
Top 25 Most Valuable Brands in 2018 by Ricky Singh, MBA. Top 25 companies with the most valuable brand value as of May 2018. Brand value refers to the financial assets of the brand while brand equity refers to the value of the brand to a customer.
1. Amazon. 2. Apple. 3. Google. 4. Samsung. 5. Facebook. 6. AT&T. 7. Microsoft. 8. Verizon. 9. Walmart. 10. ICBC. 11. China Construction Bank. 12. Alibaba. 13. China Mobile. 14. Wells Fargo. 15. Mercedes-Benz. 16. Toyota. 17. BMW. 18. Bank of China. 19. State Grid. 20. NTT Group. 21. Tencent. 22. T (Deutsche Telekom in Germany). 23. Shell. 24. Chase. 25. Huawei.
Countries, Places:
● If the world were 100 people comes from "visually by rockcontent". It was based on the population of Earth a few years ago at 7.8 billion. (As of November 30, 2023, there are 8,075,019,935 people on Earth, with a growth rate of 0.91% per year, 367,889 births daily, 166,467 deaths daily, and 199,375 population increases daily. ~ Worldometer).
● Out of 100 people:
11 are in Europe.
5 are in North America
9 are in South America
15 are in Africa
60 are in Asia
49 live in the countryside
51 live in cities
75 have mobile phones
25 do not
30 have internet access
70 do not have the availability to go online
7 received a university education
93 did not attend college
83 can read
17 are illiterate
33 are Christians
22 are Muslims (In 2010, 74% of Muslims lived in 49 countries, where they made up the majority of the population. By 2030, the world's total Muslim population is expected to increase by 35% over its 2010 level, to 2.2 billion people. Muslims make up about 26% of the world's population, an increase of about 3% from today's level. ~ WorldPopulationReview.com).
14 are Hindus
7 are Buddhists
12 are other religions
12 have no religious beliefs
26 live less than 14 years
66 died between 15 - 64 years of age
8 are over 65 years old
● Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.
● 90% of the world's ice covers Antarctica. This ice also represents 70% of all the fresh water in the world.
● The driest place on Earth is in Antarctica in an area called the Dry Valleys, which have seen no rain for nearly 2 million years.
● Australia has 10,685 beaches. You could visit a new beach every day for more than 29 years.
● Toronto, Ontario, Canada was the first city in the world with a computerized traffic signal system.
● With 1896 km (1178 mi), the Yonge Street in Canada, is the longest street in the world.
Note from Wikipedia: "Until 1999, the Guinness Book of World Records repeated the popular misconception that it [Yonge Street] was 1,896 km (1,178 mi) long, and thus the longest street in the world; this was due to a mistaken conflation of Yonge Street with the rest of Ontario's Highway 11. Yonge Street (including the Bradford-to-Barrie extension) is actually 86 kilometres (53.4379 miles) long."
● The Canadian $2 bill (or $5 bill or $10 bill) depicts the U.S. flag flying over Parliament. (Not true! An American flag has never appeared on any Canadian Banknote. The flag on the $10 banknote, which might look like the American flag to some people, is actually the Canadian Red Ensign - Canada's old flag before the Maple Leaf flag in 1965). [Note: In Canada, the $1 and the $2 notes stopped being issued in 1989 and 1996, respectively, and were replaced with coins.]
● In Canada, Mexico, India, Russia and Israel, bank notes have Braille-like markings on them for the blind.
● The entire population of Canada (35,540,400 on July 1, 2014) has fewer people than Tokyo's metropolitan area (37,832,892 in 2014).
Metro area population of Tokyo in 2020 was 37,393,000, a 0.11% decline from 2019.
Metro area population of Tokyo in 2021 was 37,340,000, a 0.14% decline from 2020.
Update: Population of Canada: 38.25 million (2021). Population of Metropolitan Tokyo: 37.34 million (2021).
The metro area population of Tokyo in 2022 was 37,274,000, a 0.18% decline from 2021.
Current metro area population of Tokyo in 2023 is 37,194,000, a 0.21% decline from 2022.
Update: Canada's population reaches 40 million, Jun 16, 2023.
● The name "Canada" comes from the St. Lawrence Iroquoian language word "Kanata" meaning "Village".
● In Canada, polar bear swims take place on New Year's Day to celebrate the new year. People of all ages don bathing suits and plunge into the icy-cold lake water.
● The winter of 1911 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
● Residents of Churchill, Manitoba, Canada leave their cars unlocked to offer an escape for pedestrians who might encounter polar bears.
● Licence plates in the Canadian Northwest Territories are shaped like polar bears. (Yellowknife, NT is 1170 km or 727 miles northwest of Churchill, MB).
● Canada has the longest coastline of any country in the world.
● Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world's lakes combined.
● Wasaga Beach is the longest fresh water beach in the world.
● 20% of the world's fresh water is in Canada.
● 31% of Canada is taken up by forests.
● Canada is the World's most educated country in the world with over half of its residents having College degrees. 99% of Canada's population is literate.
● Some Canadian inventions include: Basketball, Baseball glove, electric wheelchair, telephone, electric cooking range, trivial pursuit, snowmobile and IMAX.
● Canada is the second largest country in the world.
● Canada has 6 time zones.
● Canadians spent $22.1 billion on alcohol in the year ended March 31, 2016, a rise of 3.5 per cent from the same period a year earlier. From the total, $9.2 billion was spent on beer (approx $324 per adult, which equates to 2.27 billion litres of beer), $7 billion on wine and $5.1 billion on spirits. The remainder, about $800 million, was spent on ciders, coolers and other alcoholic drinks. ~ CBC News, 2 May 2017.
● The USA bought Alaska from Russia for about 2 cents per acre ($4.74/km2). Treaty signed at 4 a.m. on March 30, 1867 with the purchase price set at $7.2 million.
● The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
● More than half of the coastline of the entire
United States is in Alaska.
● The University of Alaska spans four time zones.
● All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the American $5 bill.
● An American dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
● In 1819, the USA purchased Florida from Spain for the cancellation of a $5 million debt.
● Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace.
● If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
● In the United States, Maine is the only state which name is just one syllable.
● There are upwards of 61,000 people in the air over the United States of America at any time on any given day. This is due to the U.S. having the largest number of airports worldwide accounting for roughly 1/3 of the world's total airports.
● The shortest flight in the world is by Loganair, a Scottish airline. The entire journey between two Orkney Islands, Westray and Papa Westray is a 1,750 yard flight, which takes as little as 47 seconds or up to 2 minutes, depending on winds.
The longest flight in the world is Qantas' flight from Sydney, Australia to Dallas, Texas, a 17-hour flight which spans about 8,576 miles.
● There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
● The Palazzo, a luxury hotel and casino resort located on the Las Vegas Strip in Paradise, Nevada, is named the largest hotel in the world by the Guinness Book of World Records. Its total floor area covers 6,948,980 square feet (645,581 m2).
● Norway will allow any student from anywhere in the world to study at its Public Universities completely free of charge.
● The Netherlands is closing 19 prisons due to a serious prisoner shortage.
● The Waterloo Bridge in London, England was largely built by women in World War 2 and is nicknamed the "Ladies Bridge".
● China has more English speakers than the United States.
● Chopsticks originated from China approximately 4,000 years ago.
● In 1391, China began producing toliet paper for use by its Emperors.
● The only South East Asian country that has never been colonized by a Western Power is Thailand.
● Mongolia is the least densely populated country in the world with 1.89 people per square kilometer, or around 0.77 people per square mile, in 2014.
Macau (a Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China) is the most densely populated country/territory in the world with 54,882 people per square kilometer, circa March 31, 2014.
● Japan has approximately 200 volcanoes and is home to 10% of the active volcanoes in the world.
● At Japan's Yunessun Spa Resort, visitors can go for a swim in their favorite beverage, such as in the Japanese Sake Spa, Green Tea Spa, Coffee Spa and Wine Spa. A massive 2 meter tall teapot with real green tea, real coffee made with hot spring water, a huge 3.6 meter tall wine bottle with real red wine, a huge cask filled with real Japanese sake, pours out the desired rejuvenating elixirs into the spa.
● If you're drunk or violent in Japan, police will take a plastic sheet and roll you up like a burrito. After the wrapping, police will take the drunk or violent person to the station to let them calm down.
● 99% of Libya's land mass is covered in desert.
● The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
● Papua New Guinea (Ethnic groups: Melanesian, Papuan, Negrito, Micronesian, Polynesian) has the largest number of spoken languages (850 languages circa 2015).
● Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on two continents.
● The San Alfonso del Mar resort in Chile has the world's largest swimming pool. The pool is 1,013 m (3,323 ft) long, covering 8 ha (20 acres), containing some 250 million litres (66 million US gallons) of seawater, with a maximum depth of 11.5 ft (3.5 m).
Earth, Moon, Sun, Stars, Planets:
● Because it takes so long for their light to reach Earth, many of the stars you see at night are long gone.
● The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.
● The sun is 400x further from the earth than the moon, but the moon is 400x smaller than the sun.
● The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
● Due to earth's gravity, it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
● There is more fresh water under the earth's surface than there is above it.
● There is a glacier called "Blood Falls" in Antarctica that regularly pours out red liquid, making it look like the ice is bleeding. (It's actually oxidised salty water.)
● Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
● Venus rotates so slowly, you can watch the sunset forever just by walking.
● A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
● If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
● Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.
● A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface.
● There are 500,000 detectable earthquakes in the world each year.
● The average cloud weighs over a million pounds. A single cloud can weigh about 550 tons or more.
● The largest snowflake ever recorded reportedly measured 15 inches across.
Famous People:
● Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w the film down so you could see his moves.
● Once Charlie Chaplin entered a contest for "Charlie Chaplin look-alikes" and he came in third.
● Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
● The month of October is not mentioned at all in any of William Shakespeare's plays.
● Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
● Canadians James Till and Ernest McCulloch are credited with the discovery of the stem cell.
● Insulin, a hormone produced by the pancreas was first isolated at the University of Toronto, Canada, in 1921-22 by Dr. Frederick Banting and Charles Best.
Humans:
● This is the year 2025. I was born in 1997. I've lived in 4 different decades, 2 centuries, and 2 millenniums. And I am not yet 30 years old. ~ Unknown.
● In 1567, the man said to have the longest beard in the world died after he tripped over his beard running away from a fire.
● A family of people with blue skin lived in Kentucky for many generations. The Fulgates of Troublesome Creek are thought to have gained their blue skin through combination of inbreeding and a rare genetic condition known as methemoglobinemia.
● Everyone has a unique smell, except for identical twins, who smell the same.
It wasn't until more recently that a credible study was done involving 10 German Shepherd canines who had received vigorous scent training and practice. The dogs came from three different Czech Republic Police Regional Headquarters ...
In all 12 trials completed by the 10 dogs, each dog successfully identified which sample swab came from which twin. Fascinatingly enough, DNA tests could not even tell the differences between the twins, but dogs could.Dogs Discriminate Identical Twins.
● Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
● If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
● One out of 20 people have an extra rib. See Cervical rib from Wikipedia.
● Nerve impulses to and from the brain travel as fast as 170 miles per hour.
● The body's strongest muscle is our tongue. It is the only muscle in our body that is attached at only one end. Also, there are no two tongue prints that are alike.
● Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
● A sneeze travels out of your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.
● It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
● Fingernails grow nearly four times faster than toenails.
● Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
● Women blink nearly twice as much as men due to the higher levels of the hormone estrogen within their system.
● Men are six times more likely to be struck by lightning than women.
● A U.S. park ranger named Roy C. Sullivan held the record for being struck by lightning the most times, having been struck and survived seven times between 1942 and 1977. He died of a self-inflicted gunshot in 1983.
● On average, lightning strikes Earth 100 times per second.
● What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? Answer: All were invented by women.
● Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.
● Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side.
● Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
● Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you are not.
● It is impossible to lick your elbow. Note: This "fact" has been proven wrong. YouTube has since replaced old incorrect video with You CAN lick your elbow. YouTube video, 1:00 min. Published by
Paszczur Paszczurnowski, Jul 16, 2009.
See also: Things Most Humans Can't Do (TEST). YouTube video, 12:12 min. Published by Good Mythical Morning, Mar 11, 2015.
● Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
● The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.
● Cells multiply by dividing.
● You replace every particle in your body every seven years. You are literally not the same person you were 7 years ago.
● Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
● Eyes are richly supplied with blood and nutrients and eye wounds heal quickly as compared to other tissues.
● Blue colored tissues exist under all brown colored eyes and there is a Laser procedure which can change the color of the eyes from brown to blue.
● The tooth is the only part of the human body that can't heal itself.
● The Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with urine. Apparently it works. Please don't do it, though.
● A person's height is determined by the father, and weight is determined by the mother.
● Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
● If you weigh 200 pounds on Earth, you'll be only 76 pounds on Mars. You're not overweight, you're just not on the right planet.
● Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth! ~ Albert Einstein.
● The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as an encyclopedia.
● Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb.
● Though it interprets pain signals from the rest of the body, the brain itself cannot feel pain.
● Your brain uses 20% of the oxygen that enters your bloodstream, and is itself made up of 80% water.
● Like fingerprints, every individual has an unique tongue print that can be used for identification.
● The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood Plasma.
● There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing: food, attractive people, and danger.
● Our body gives enough heat in 30 minutes to boil 1.5 liters of water.
● If a part of your body "falls asleep", you can almost always "wake it up" by shaking your head.
● A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it has been decapitated.
● Corpses can get goosebumps.
● You can survive without eating for weeks, but you will only live 11 days without sleeping.
● We sleep 1/3 of our lives away. ~ Albert Einstein.
● Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine stronger.
● In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase: "Goodnight, sleep tight."
● The colder the room you sleep in, the higher the chances are that you'll have a bad dream.
● People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don't.
● It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.
● A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands. There are about a trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
● Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the unpleasant odor.
● If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
● Every three days, a human stomach gets a new lining.
● Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
● Humans are born with 300 bones in their body, however, when a person reaches adulthood, he or she only has 206 bones. This occurs because many of them join together to make a single bone.
● The average life span of a single red blood cell is 120 days.
● The most common blood type in the world is Type O. The rarest blood type, called HH, was first discovered in Bombay in 1952, and hence christened as Bombay Blood. People who carry this rare blood type, about 1 in 10,000 Indians, can accept blood only from another Bombay Blood type individual, and not from anyone who is O, A, B or AB type.
● The palms of your hands and the soles of your feet cannot tan, or grow hair.
● By 60 years of age, 60% of men and 40% of women will snore.
● By the age of 60, most people will have lost about half their taste buds.
● Half of all humans who have ever lived, died from malaria.
● The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
● Laziness and inactivity kill just as many people as smoking.
● About one third of the human race has 20-20 vision. (Excluding those who had cataract surgeries).
● When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.
● The five senses: Virtually every child since the time of Aristotle has learned about the five senses in school. As it turns out, five is just the start: humans can sense much more than light, smell, sound, taste, and touch. We also perceive such essential qualities as temperature (thermoreception), pain (nociception), balance (equilibrioception), the position of our bodies (proprioception), the passage of time (temporal perception), and many inner states, such as hunger and thirst (interoception).
● If 33 million people held hands, they could make it all the way around the equator.
● See also: 51 Favorite Facts You've Always Believed That Are Actually False by David McCandless, Jan. 5, 2020.
Law, History, and Other Irrelevant Info:
● In California, it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.
● In Chicago, it is illegal for anyone to eat in a place that is on fire.
● In Devon, Texas, it is against the law to make furniture while you are nude.
● In Kentucky, it's illegal to paint your lawn red.
● In Miami, Florida, imitating animals is illegal.
● In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant.
● In Oklahoma, it is illegal to make faces at a dog, a crime that could result in a prison sentence.
● In San Francisco, it's illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
● In South Carolina, it is legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
● In Tennessee, you are breaking the law if you drive while sleeping.
● In Washington state, there is a real-life law stating it is illegal to kill bigfoot and other sasquatch-like creatures.
● In British Columbia, it is illegal to kill a Sasquatch or Bigfoot if one is ever found.
● In England, it is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the King or Queen upside down.
● In Germany, it is illegal to stop on an autobahn (expressway). It is also illegal to run out of gas on an autobahn.
● In France, it is illegal to name a pig "Napoleon".
● In France, it is stated as illegal to marry a dead person.
● In Switzerland, owning only one guinea pig or parrot is illegal.
● In Samoa, it is a crime to forget your own wife's birthday.
● In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be sentenced to death by firing squad.
● In Singapore, chewing gum is illegal. Spitting in public is also illegal and can result in arrest.
● In Bangladesh, children age 15 and older can be sent to jail for cheating on their final exams.
● In Lebanon, if a man is caught having sex with a male animal, the penalty is death. Sex with a female animal is okay.
● In Thailand it is illegal to step on money because it has the image of the king on it and stepping on it signifies disrespect.
● In Hong Kong, there's a law that allows a wife to kill her husband if she finds him cheating. However, she must kill him with her bare hands.
● The only two states where divorce is illegal are the Philippines and The Vatican.
● In Fiji, public nudity and topless bathing are illegal.
● In Saudi Arabia, there is no minimum age for marriage. In 2008, a Saudi court refused an 8-year-old girl, who asked for a divorce from her 58-year-old husband.
● The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
● The stethoscope was invented because a French doctor felt uncomfortable placing his face on a younger woman's chest.
● The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off.
● The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
● The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
● The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
● If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
● The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
● In 1631, two London bible printers accidentally left the word "not" out of the seventh commandment, which then read, "Thou shalt commit adultery." This legendary book is now known as the "Wicked Bible."
Letters, Numbers, Dates, Language:
●
Wordle - A FREE daily 5-letter word guessing game created (Oct 2021) by Josh Wardle, who named it "Wordle" as a pun on his surname. Born in Wales, Josh Wardle is an artist, product manager and software engineer in Brooklyn, NY. Each daily game uses a word from a randomly-ordered list of 2,315 words (out of the 12,000 five-letter words in the English language). You can play once per day. Simply enter a random five-letter word to get started. Letters are GREEN if they are correct, YELLOW if they are correct but in the wrong spot, or GREY if they are not in the word at all. Try to figure out the word within six guesses. Wordle uses American spelling. It is ad-free and free to play with no time limit.
The New York Times Buys Wordle by Marc Tracy, Jan 31, 2022. The New York Times Co. has announced that it's acquired Wordle for an amount "in the low seven figures." The Times said that the game will "initially remain free to new and existing players."
WORDLE Answers - Google Photos of some solved Wordle puzzles.
● In the English language, this word has only one vowel, which occurs six times: "indivisibility."
● The words "abstemious" and "facetious" both have all five vowels "a, e, i, o, u" in them in order.
● The word "queueing" has five consecutive vowels.
● There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
● The word incorrectly is spelled incorrectly in every dictionary.
● The word "SWIMS" upside-down is still "SWIMS."
● The word "WE" upside-down becomes "ME."
● "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
● Words that have no rhyme in the English language include: orange, silver, purple, month, ninth, pint, wolf, opus, dangerous, marathon and discombobulate.
● Someone said, "Nothing rhymes with orange." I said, "No, it doesn't."
● DINKS is short for Dual Income, No Kids.
● The pound sign (#) on the keyboard is called an octothorpe. (Technical term for a hashtag according to the Oxford English Dictionary; octo, in reference to the eight points in the figure, and Thorpe, from "the surname Thorpe.")
● The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog. ~ English-language pangram (a sentence that contains all 26 letters of the English alphabet). See List of Pangrams by Richard Rutter, Oct 30, 2014.
- Watch "Jeopardy!", Alex Trebek's fun TV quiz game. ~ English-language pangram.
- By Jove, my quick study of lexicography won a prize! ~ English-language pangram.
- Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs. ~ English-language pangram by Mark Dunn.
- Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz. ~ English-language pangram.
- The five boxing wizards jump quickly. ~ English-language pangram.
● "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" is the longest word entered in the most trusted English dictionaries.
● "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia" is the fear of long words.
● "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.
● "Typewriter" is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
● The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
● The words "racecar," "kayak" and "level" are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
● The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
● Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
The Germans got this right. The letter W is pronounced double V and not double U in German.
● If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
● The letter "J" does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
● "I." is the shortest sentence, and "I am." is the second shortest complete sentence in the English language.
● The abbreviation Xmas for the word Christmas is of Greek origin, as the word for Christ in the Greek language is Xristos.
● If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
Answer: One thousand.
● If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.
● Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
● Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing? Because 10+10 is twenty, and 11+11 is twenty too.
● Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
● One barrel of petroleum holds 42 gallons.
● No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
● Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
● If you started working for a penny a day with the stipulation that your pay doubled each day, you'd be a millionaire in less than a month. (On the 21st day, you would be making $1,048,576.00).
● Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
● Issued as Australian legal tender, the most valuable coin in the world is a $1 million coin made by Perth Mint, which weights one tonne and is 99.99% pure gold. It is actually worth almost $52 million ($40.8 million USD).
● February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
● If 2/2/22 (February 2, 2022) falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day." ~ Shucks, it falls on a Wednesday. February 2, 2122 falls on a Monday. February 2, 2222 falls on a Saturday. But we'll call 2/2/22 "2's Day" anyway.
● People born on February 29 are called "leaplings" or "leapers".
● April is the only month with an "i" in its name.
● A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
● A 2 x 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".
● 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
● There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Science:
● The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that it breaks the sound barrier. The crack of the whip is actually a tiny sonic boom.
● Gold is the only metal that does not rust, even if it is buried in the ground for thousands of years.
● Almost all of the gold on Earth comes from outer space. It is actually a part of various meteors that have hit the planet over the first 200 million years of its life.
● Gold is the only metal in the world that has a natural yellow or golden color. While other metals might also turn yellow, this can only be done by oxidizing the metal or combined with other materials.
● Gold is a unique metal for having an almost unlimited number of uses beyond just being a monetary and symbolic commodity. It is also used for everything from electronics to medicine and even radiation. Gold can also be melted and repurposed as much as needed without losing quality or effectiveness.
● Gold is the world's most malleable metal, to the point where just one ounce of gold can be beaten into a 300-square-foot sheet thin enough to see-through.
● If you take all of the gold that was ever mined by people since the beginning of human civilization, you will end up with a box that weighs 187,200 tons (374,400,000 lb) and is about 21 cubic meters in volume.
Note: The North American ton (only used in the United States and Canada) is equal to 2,000 pounds or 907.1847 kg. It is sometimes referred to as the "short ton" or "net ton".
The British ton (Imperial system of weights and measures) is equal to 2,240 pounds or 1,016.047 kg. It is sometimes referred to as the "long ton", "weight ton" or "gross ton".
A "tonne" is equal to 1,000 kg. In the United States and Canada, it may be referred to as a "metric ton".
● Graphene, the world's strongest material, is a million times thinner than paper, but 200 times stronger than steel.
● Pearls dissolve in vinegar.
● Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
● Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
● The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Percy Spencer)
● Brass doorknobs automatically disinfect themselves in about 8 hours.
● Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.
● The more a person struggles to get out of quicksand the faster he or she will sink. Staying still, and being calm will actually make the body float in the quicksand because the body is less dense than the quicksand. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
● For more strange facts, check out Weird Facts
● 175 Random Facts So Interesting You'll Say, "OMG!" By Alex Daniel, Best Life, Mar. 19, 2021.
● 100 Totally Useless Facts That Are Too Entertaining for Words
● Totally Useless Knowledge
● The Official Useless Knowledge LIST
● Usefulness of Useless Knowledge
● Great Facts.
● A few interesting KickassFacts.
414. If you care too much about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner. ~ Unknown.
415. Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. ~ Charles M. Schulz.
416. Be yourself, everyone else is taken. ~ Oscar Wilde.
417. Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else. ~ Judy Garland.
418. Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. ~ Claud Cockburn.
419. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ~ Helen Rowland.
420. A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her. ~ Helen Rowland.
421. Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it. ~ Swedish Proverb.
422. Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible. ~ Corrie ten Boom (1892 - 1983).
423. Faith is to believe what we do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what we believe. ~ Saint Augustine.
424. He alone, who owns the youth, gains the Future! ~ Adolf Hitler, speech at the Reichsparteitag, 1935.
425. Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense. ~ Adolf Hitler.
426. People may not always believe what you say, but they will believe what you do. ~ Adolf Hitler.
427. If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed. ~ Adolf Hitler.
● A lie told once is a lie, but a lie told a thousand times becomes the truth. ~ Joseph Goebbels.
428. Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. ~ Confucius.
429. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. ~ Confucius.
430. In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of. ~ Confucius.
431. It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them. ~ Confucius.
432. Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.~ Confucius.
433. To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. ~ Confucius.
434. What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others. ~ Confucius.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you. ~ English golden rule.
435. When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. ~ Confucius.
436. Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men. ~ Confucius.
437. Nothing is untouchable. ~ Michael Phelps.
438. May your troubles be less,
And your blessings be more,
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door. ~ Irish Blessing.
439. May you have the hindsight to know where you've been,
The foresight to know where you're going,
And the insight to know when you're going too far. ~ Irish Blessing.
440. May your pockets be heavy,
And your heart be light.
May good luck pursue you
Each morning and night. ~ Irish Blessing.
● Never iron a four leaf clover. You don't want to press your luck. ~ Indian Hills Community Center.
441. May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live. ~ Irish Blessing.
● May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,
And friends who care. ~ Unknown.
442. May your neighbors respect you,
Trouble neglect you,
The angels protect you, and heaven accept you. ~ Irish Blessing.
443. As you slide down the banisters of life,
May the splinters never point the wrong way. ~ Irish Blessing.
444. May the roof above us never fall in,
And may we friends gathered below never fall out. ~ Irish Blessing.
445. May you be poor in misfortune,
Rich in blessings,
Slow to make enemies,
Quick to make friends.
But rich or poor, quick or slow,
May you know nothing but happiness from this day foward. ~ Irish Blessing.
446. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. ~ Sun Tzu, Chinese philosopher.
447. The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing. ~ Socrates.
● I am not young enough to know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde.
● The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. ~ Albert Einstein.
448. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. ~ H. G. Wells.
449. Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations. ~ Edward de Bono.
● I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could remember where I hid them. ~ Unknown.
450. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. ~ Albert Einstein.
451. There are no facts, only interpretations. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.
452. Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. ~ Thomas Henry Huxley.
● If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you. ~ Unknown.
453. Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
● Be useful. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
454. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. ~ J. Paul Getty.
● Take care of your cents: dollars will take care of themselves. ~ Thomas Jefferson.
455. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. ~ Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).
456. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. ~ James Branch Cabell.
457. A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship. ~ John D. Rockefeller.
458. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. ~ Antoine de Saint Exupery.
459. In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience. ~ W.B. Prescott.
460. Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. ~ Voltaire.
461. Never mistake motion for action. ~ Ernest Hemingway.
462. Well done is better than well said. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
463. Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. ~ William Congreve (1670-1729). Spoken by Zara in Act III, Scene VIII in The Mourning Bride (1697).
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. ~ William Congreve (in modern English).
Commonly paraphrased as "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
464. Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity. ~ Irving Kristol.
465. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. ~ Mark Twain.
466. The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes.
467. Love is friendship set on fire. ~ Jeremy Taylor.
468. If you are reading it, it's History.
If you are hearing it, it's News. ~ 680 News.
469. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. ~ T.S. Elliot.
470. Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. ~ Barack Obama.
● Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. ~ Leo Tolstoy.
471. It is never too late to be what you might have been. ~ George Eliot.
● I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. ~ Albert Einstein.
472. One person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests. ~ John Stuart Mill.
473. Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy. ~ Wayne Gretzky.
474. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. ~ Confucius.
475. Respect yourself and others will respect you. ~ Confucius.
476. When anger rises, think of the consequences. ~ Confucius.
477. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. ~ Rick Cook.
478. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
479. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
480. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest. ~ Larry Lorenzoni.
481. The mark of wisdom lies, more than anything else, in the ability to listen. ~ Buddhist quote.
482. A person's true nature is revealed at times of the greatest adversity. ~ Buddhist quote.
483. Remaining silent in the face of injustice is the same as supporting it. ~ Buddhist quote.
484. In the fight between justice and evil, taking a neutral stance and being indifferent is the same as siding with evil. ~ Buddhist quote.
485. A lack of gratitude is a sign of arrogance. ~ Buddhist quote.
486. Those who have suffered the most have the right to the greatest happiness. ~ Buddhist quote.
487. There may be a retirement age at work, but there is no retirement age in life. ~ Buddhist quote.
488. The day your horse dies and your money's lost, your relatives change to strangers. ~ Chinese saying.
489. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. ~ Chinese proverb.
490. A day of sorrow is longer than a month of joy. ~ Chinese saying.
491. Human rights start with recognizing the importance of every individual. ~ Buddhist quote.
492. Human rights, democracy and peace are a single entity. When one disintegrates, they all disintegrate. ~ Buddhist quote.
● Peace is not merely the absence of war but the presence of justice, of law, of order - in short, of government. ~ Albert Einstein, "On Peace".
● Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding. ~ Albert Einstein.
● All wars have reasons, but only peace makes sense. ~ Marco Tarquinio.
493. No human being can escape the eternal rhythms of life: birth, aging, sickness, death. The crucial thing is not to be defeated by them. ~ Buddhist quote.
494. The worst mistake you can make is to give up on yourself and stop challenging yourself for fear of failure. ~ Buddhist quote.
● The only sure way to avoid making mistakes is to have no new ideas. ~ Albert Einstein.
● You and only you are responsible for your life choices and decisions. ~ Robert T. Kiyosaki.
● The best decisions aren't made with your mind, but with your instinct. ~ Lionel Messi.
● Our lives will depend upon the decisions which we make, for decisions determine destiny. ~ Thomas S. Monson.
495. The greatest tragedy in life is not to die, it is to live as if dead, to let the life within us wither. ~ Buddhist quote.
496. Human beings are inherently endowed with the power to bring out the best possible results from the worst possible circumstances. ~ Buddhist quote.
497. When you hold fast to your beliefs and live true to yourself, your true value as a human being shines through. ~ Buddhist quote.
498. A healthy relationship is one in which two people encourage each other to reach their respective goals while sharing each other's hopes and dreams. ~ Buddhist quote.
499. It is important to remember that aging and growing old are not necessarily the same. ~ Buddhist quote.
500. For both victor and vanquished, war leaves only a sense of endless futility. ~ Buddhist quote.
● War is a defeat for humanity. ~ Pope John Paul II (18 May 1920 - 2 April 2005).
● War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other. ~ Niko Bellic.
● War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. ~ Jimmy Carter.
● Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. ~ Ernest Hemingway.
● War is organized murder, and nothing else. ~ Harry Patch, Last surviving soldier of World War I.
● It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder. ~ Albert Einstein.
● I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. ~ Albert Einstein.
● How is it possible to have a civil war? ~ George Carlin.
● No matter what political reasons are given for war, the underlying reason is always economic. ~ A.J.P. Taylor.
● In war, you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times. ~ Winston Churchill.
● Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves. ~ William Hazlitt.
● You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. ~ Albert Einstein.
501. Each religion can be made a force for good or for evil by the people who practice it. ~ Buddhist quote.
502. It is in the midst of suffering and hardship that strength of character is formed. ~ Buddhist quote.
503. Gold is gold, no matter how muddied it becomes. The truth always wins out in the end. ~ Buddhist quote.
504. The greatest and most enduring triumph as a human being lies in knowing that one is doing one's best. ~ Buddhist quote.
505. A genuinely happy person is one who has made others happy. ~ Buddhist quote.
506. Choose your thoughts carefully. Keep what brings you peace, release what brings you suffering. And know that happiness is just a thought away. ~ Nishan Panwar.
507. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
508. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~ Sam Ewing.
● Inflation: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
509. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~ Charles Schulz.
510. I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~ George Carlin.
511. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~ Robert Frost.
512. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball.
513. Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~ Leroy "Satchel" Paige.
514. In youth, the days are short and the years are long;
In old age, the years are short and the days long. ~ Nikita Ivanovich Panin.
515. Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~ Unknown.
516. A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ~ John Barrymore.
517. Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~ Victor Hugo.
● Youthfulness is about how you live not when you were born. ~ Karl Lagerfeld.
518. The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. ~ Judith Regan.
519. The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity. ~ Mark Twain.
520. Death isn't the end. It's just a change. ~ Dr. Shelly Sarwal, passed away on Aug. 31, 2018 at age 48. Her organ donation saved three lives and she donated her brain to research.
Take Your Love. YouTube video, 4:16 min.
521. What you cannot avoid, welcome. ~ Chinese proverb.
522. You are younger today than you ever will be again. Make use of it for the sake of tomorrow. ~ Anonymous.
523. As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. ~ Erma Bombeck.
524. Like a lot of fellows around here, I have a furniture problem. My chest has fallen into my drawers. ~ Billy Casper.
525. One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless. ~ Liz Smith.
526. Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places. ~ Unknown.
527. We are always the same age inside. ~ Gertrude Stein.
528. It is not how old you are, but how you are old. ~ Jules Renard.
● Man ist so alt, wie man sich fühlt. ~ German saying. Translation: You're as old as you feel.
528. A man is as old as he's feeling,
A woman as old as she looks. ~ Mortimer Collins.
529. Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. ~ Henry Ford.
● Once you stop learning, you start dying. ~ Albert Einstein.
530. No one grows old by living, only by losing interest in living. ~ Marie Beynon Ray.
531. Speak clearly, if you speak at all;
Carve every word, before you let it fall. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
● Swiftest horse cannot overtake the word once spoken. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Four horses cannot overtake the tongue. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Water and words are easy to pour but impossible to recover. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Look before you leap. ~ Idiom.
● Denke, bevor du sprichst. ~ German saying. Translation: Think before you speak.
● Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. ~ Abraham Lincoln.
● It's better to be silent than be a fool. ~ Harper Lee.
● Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. ~ Proverbs 29:20.
Note: Almost all Chinese proverbs listed below can be expressed in just four Chinese characters.
532. An inch of time is an inch of gold, but you can't buy that inch of time with an inch of gold. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Time is an illusion. ~ Albert Einstein.
533. Facts beat eloquence. ~ Chinese proverb.
534. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. ~ Chinese proverb.
535. Every step makes a footprint. ~ Chinese proverb.
536. In the midst of great joy, do not promise to give a man anything; in the midst of great anger, do not answer a man's letter. ~ Chinese proverb.
537. If you are patient in a moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. ~ Chinese proverb.
538. Better do it than wish it done. ~ Chinese proverb.
539. Better go to heaven in rags than to hell in embroidery. ~ Chinese proverb.
540. Think of your own faults the first part of the night when you are awake, and the faults of others the latter part of the night when you are asleep. ~ Chinese proverb.
541. Not only can water float a boat, it can sink it also. ~ Chinese proverb.
542. Rivers and mountains may change; human nature, never. ~ Chinese proverb.
543. A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. ~ Chinese proverb.
544. Learning is weightless - a treasure you can always carry easily. ~ Chinese proverb.
545. Learning is a treasure no thief can touch. ~ Chinese proverb.
546. If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people. ~ Chinese proverb.
547. It is harder to be poor without complaining than to be rich without boasting. ~ Chinese proverb.
548. He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever. ~ Chinese proverb.
549. Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die. ~ English saying, originally from the Bible, Ecclesiastes VIII 15, King James Version.
550. Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians. ~ Chinese proverb.
551. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. ~ Chinese proverb.
552. Wedlock is a padlock. ~ Chinese proverb.
553. Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still. ~ Chinese proverb.
554. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched. ~ Chinese / English proverb.
555. The woman who tells her real age is either too young to have anything to lose, or too old to have anything to gain. ~ Chinese saying.
556. The less power a man has, the more he likes to use it. ~ Chinese proverb.
557. If you are standing upright, don't worry if your shadow is crooked. ~ Chinese proverb.
● I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees. ~ Euripides.
558. Easier to bend the body than the will. ~ Chinese proverb.
559. A rumour goes in one ear and out many mouths. ~ Chinese proverb.
560. Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead. ~ Chinese proverb.
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. ~ English idiom.
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. ~ English idiom.
561. Virtue practiced to be seen is not real virtue; vice which fears to be seen is real vice. ~ Chinese proverb.
562. The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure. ~ Chinese proverb.
563. Judge not the horse by its saddle. ~ Chinese proverb.
Don't judge a book by its cover. ~ English idiom.
You should never judge a book by its cover. Down Syndrome Passenger Rejected. YouTube video, 4:22 min. Published by Dhar Mann, Jun 28, 2021.
564. When you respect others, others will respect you.
When you despise others, others will come to despise you.
When you change, the world around you will change. ~ Buddhist quote.
565. A single word can scar another. ~ Buddhist quote.
566. The important thing is not just to sympathize with or to pity others, but to really understand what they're going through. Empathy is crucial. ~ Buddhist quote.
567. Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed at not understanding. ~ Chinese proverb.
568. Hatred corrodes the vessel in which it is stored. ~ Chinese proverb.
569. I dreamed a thousand new paths, I awoke and walked my old one. ~ Chinese saying.
570. None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. ~ Henry David Thoreau.
571. If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through. ~ Chinese proverb.
572. You cannot lose what you never had. ~ Chinese proverb.
573. The error of one moment becomes the sorrow of a lifetime. ~ Chinese proverb.
574. We can study until old age and still not finish. ~ Chinese proverb.
575. Even a hare will bite when it is cornered. ~ Chinese proverb.
● A drowning man will clutch at a straw. ~ English proverb.
● Even a worm will turn. ~ From William Shakespeare's play Henry VI, Part 3.
576. Cheap things are not good, good things are not cheap. ~ Chinese saying.
● Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. ~ Warren Buffett.
577. Failing to plan is planning to fail. ~ Chinese saying.
● He who fails to plan is planning to fail. ~ Winston Churchill during World War II.
● The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. ~ Sun Tzu.
578. Everyone pushes a falling fence. ~ Chinese saying.
● Don't kick a man when he's down. ~ English idiom.
579. If you want happiness for an hour - take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day - go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month - get married.
If you want happiness for a year - inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime - help others. ~ Chinese Proverb.
580. Losing comes of winning money. ~ Chinese saying.
● On investing in the stock market: Selling your winners and holding your losers is like cutting the flowers and watering the weeds. ~ Peter Lynch.
581. Transgressions should never be forgiven a third time. ~ Chinese saying.
582. Defer not till tomorrow what may be done today. ~ Chinese saying.
583. A courageous foe is better than a cowardly friend. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you. ~ Benjamin Franklin.
584. You want no one to know it? Then don't do it. ~ Chinese saying.
585. Happy people never count hours as they pass. ~ Chinese saying.
586. A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. ~ Chinese saying.
587. Do not all you can; spend not all you have; believe not all you hear; and tell not all you know. ~ Chinese saying.
588. A bad workman blames his tools. ~ Chinese saying.
589. Corporations have neither bodies to be punished nor souls to be damned. ~ Chinese saying.
590. If you suspect a man, don't employ him; and if you employ him, don't suspect him. ~ Chinese saying.
591. A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all. ~ Chinese saying.
592. Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras.
593. Everything I need to know I learned from my dog: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. ~ Anonymous.
594. A husband complains to a marriage counselor: "When we were first married, I would come home from work, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years, it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" says the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!"
595. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. ~ Franklin P. Jones.
596. If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. ~ Unknown.
597. Dogs have so many friends because they wag their tails, not their tongues. ~ Chinese saying.
● Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail. ~ Richard Friedman.
598. A dog won't forsake his master because of poverty; a son never deserts his mother because of her homely appearance. ~ Chinese saying.
Tribute to a Dog by George Graham Vest (1830-1904).
Photos and stories about a dog named "Fido" [Example of Loyalty] in Italy as well as a dog named "Patsy Ann" in Juneau have been moved to the Virtual Library under Dewey Decimal 636.7 Dogs.
599. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. ~ Andy Rooney.
● The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. ~ Mark Twain.
● Lock your friend in a closet and your dog in another closet. Come back in 3 days and see which one is happy to see you! ~ Larry F. from Alaska.
600. Semper Fidelis. ~ Latin for "Always Faithful" or "Always Loyal", motto of the United States Marine Corps, sometimes shortened to Semper Fi.
● You don't earn loyalty in a day. You earn loyalty day-by-day. ~ Jeffrey Gitomer.
601. Better go than send. ~ Chinese saying.
602. If you can't change your fate, change your attitude. ~ Chinese proverb.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. ~ Maya Angelou.
602. A man must first become despicable before he is despised. ~ Chinese proverb.
603. There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. ~ Chinese saying.
604. Once bitten by a snake, a person is frightened at the mere sight of a rope for a lifetime. ~ Chinese saying.
● Once bitten, twice shy. ~ English idiom.
605. A smile will gain you ten more years of life. ~ Chinese saying.
See also: House Rules.
606. There are always ears on the other side of the wall. ~ Chinese saying.
607. Follow the local custom when you enter a village. ~ Chinese proverb.
● When in Rome, do as the Romans do. ~ English idiom.
● Andere Länder, andere Sitten. (Translated: Other countries, other manners.) ~ German saying.
608. Tens of thousands of bones will become ashes when one general achieves his fame. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Kill one man and you're a murderer. Kill a million and you're a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostand.
609. Attack is the best defence. ~ Chinese proverb.
● The best defense is a good offense. ~ English saying.
610. If you are in a hurry you will never get there. ~ Chinese proverb.
● More haste, less speed. ~ English idiom.
611. Your neigbour's wife looks prettier than your own. ~ Chinese proverb.
● The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. ~ English proverb.
612. Strike while the iron is hot. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Man muss das Eisen schmieden, solange es heiß ist. (Translated: One should strike while the iron's hot.) ~ German saying.
● Make hay while the sun shines. ~ English idiom.
613. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
614. Kill two eagles with one arrow. ~ Chinese proverb.
● Kill two birds with one stone. ~ English idiom.
615. I changed my iPad name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
616. I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical. ~ Arthur C Clarke.
617. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
618. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
619. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
620. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
621. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
● People don't sympathize when your books fall to the floor because you have only your shelf to blame.
622. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
623. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
624. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
625. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
626. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
627. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
628. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
629. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
630. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
631. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
632. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
633. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
634. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
● My job search
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice Factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it as it was just a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any which way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was as a Musician, but eventually learned that I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied for a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, I got a job working in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized that there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
15. So, I tried Retirement and found that I'm perfect for the job. The only trouble is that I never get a day off.
635. Cartoonist found dead, details are sketchy.
636. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
637. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
638. iCame, iSaw, iConquered. ~ "Steve Jobs" from Joe Heller's cartoon. Computer language translated into Latin: veni vidi vici.
639. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. ~ Steve Jobs.
● In the world of business, the people who are most successful are those who are doing what they love. ~ Warren Buffet.
640. Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower. ~ Steve Jobs.
● Be a voice not an echo. ~ Albert Einstein.
641. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. ~ Steve Jobs.
642. My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world. ~ Jack Layton (August 20, 2011) Letter to Canadians.
● Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. ~ Helen Keller.
643. Anita Moorjani, author of the book "Dying To Be Me". Anita Moorjani is a living proof that this is real: "Love yourself. You start by loving yourself. Life is a gift. It really is a gift. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Find your joy, and live your life with passion every day. Live it fully. You don't have to fear death."
644. GRATITUDE:
I would like to give a shoutout to:
My spine for always having my back.
My eyes for always looking out for me.
My arms for always being by my side.
My legs for always standing up for me.
My fingers, I can always count on them.
My voice for always speaking up for me, and
Finally, the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets. ~ Ayub Mehta, East Credit, ON Canada and Others.
● Want to be happy? Be grateful | David Steindl-Rast. YouTube video, 14:30 min. Published by TED, Nov 27, 2013. "The one thing all humans have in common is that each of us wants to be happy, says Brother David Steindl-Rast, a monk and interfaith scholar. And happiness, he suggests, is born from gratitude. An inspiring lesson in slowing down, looking where you're going, and above all, being grateful."
● Gratitude Meditation ❤️ 21 Day Transformation ❤️ ️ 432 HZ. YouTube video, 12:31 min. Published by Jessica Heslop - Manifest by Jess, Jul 23, 2019. "Raise your vibration in mere minutes with this beautiful Gratitude Meditation - a powerful series of gratitude affirmations carefully-crafted to help you to manifest the life of your dreams. Listen to this EVERY DAY for 21 DAYS and you will see your world transform!"
● A Gratitude List Will Change Everything! Bob Proctor . YouTube video, 4:20 min. Published by Proctor Gallagher Institute, Nov 19, 2019. "I recommend making a list of the things you are grateful for - your family, a promotion, your home - each morning or evening."
● Gratitude Affirmations * Daily Affirmations to Attract Positivity & Abundance. YouTube video, 13:46 min. Published by Lavendaire, Aug 27, 2023. "Powerful positive affirmations for gratitude and thankfulness. Listen to these affirmations daily for 21 days to reprogram your mind for positive thinking - Listen while you sleep, or as morning affirmations. Repeating 'I am' affirmations is intended to utilize law of attraction, raise your vibration, release negative thoughts, and encourage a positive mindset in your life."
● Gratitude List: 200+ Things to Be Grateful For by Rachel Sharpe, declutterthemind.com, Jan 16, 2025.
● Gratitude List: 200 Things to Be Grateful For. Generated by AI on Brave Search, Jun 9, 2025.
● How to Make a Gratitude List. Co-authored by Sandra Possing, wikiHow, Oct 5, 2020. If you want to feel more optimistic and lead a more mindful lifestyle, making gratitude lists might be a great exercise for you ... After a few weeks, you may start noticing the positive changes in your life.
645. Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
646. Egotist: A person who is usually me-deep in conversation.
647. Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. .
648. Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better.
649. Raisin: A grape with a sunburn.
650. Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time.
651. Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.
● Postherpectic Neuralgia (PHN): Pain that is like the pain of cancer but without the relief of death. ~ Unknown doctor.
652. Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
653. Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed without a word.
654. Wrinkles: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
655. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. ~ C.S. Lewis.
656. Zuviel Demut ist Hochmut. ~ Sprichwort.
Translated from German: Too much humility is pride. ~ German proverb.
657. Lost time can never be found. ~ Unknown. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
658. Out of the mouths of babes (oft times come gems). ~ English saying.
Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings. ~ Matthew 21:16 and Psalm 8:2.
Kids Say the Darndest Things. ~ American comedy series hosted by Bill Cosby, 1995, 1998-2000.
659. James (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
Baby Reads Funny Story to Daddy. Hilarious video from YouTube, 1:14 min. (bebe-leyendo-baby reading and laughing with her Daddy).
660. Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ~ Sam Keen.
661. There are three ways of dealing with difference: domination, compromise, and integration. By domination, only one side gets what it wants; by compromise, neither side gets what it wants; by integration, we find a way by which both sides may get what they wish. ~ Mary Parker Follett.
662. The way you get to know yourself is by the expression on other people's faces. ~ Gil Scott Heron.
663. Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. ~ Oprah Winfrey.
663. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. ~ Mark Twain.
664. When we lose the right to be different, we lose the privilege to be free. ~ Charles Evan Hughes.
665. To change who you are, change who you think you are. ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie.
666. If Christianity is wine and Islam coffee, Buddhism is most certainly tea. ~ Alan Watts.
Life Is Like a Cup of Coffee. YouTube video, 3:31 min. Published by Chris Cade, Feb 6, 2009.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything! Live simply. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Love generously.
Life is like coffee. YouTube video, 3:13 min. Published by Ozarks Sentinel, May 23, 2013.
667. A positive mind finds a way it can be done; a negative mind looks for all the ways it can't be done. ~ Napoleon Hill.
668. What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. ~ Napoleon Hill.
If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it. ~ Jesse Jackson.
669. What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~ Gene Perret.
670. A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~ Unknown.
671. No rain, no rainbows. ~ Unknown.
672. There are two ways to be rich - Make more or desire less. ~ Unknown.
673. He who dies with the most toys, still dies. ~ Unknown.
674. Arguing with a fool proves there are two. ~ Alex Ferman.
675. Live like it's your last day, work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, sing like nobody's listening, and dance like nobody's watching. ~ Mark Twain or Satchel Paige and others.
676. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~ Phyllis Diller.
677. A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. ~ Phyllis Diller.
678. We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. ~ Phyllis Diller.
679. If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. ~ Phyllis Diller.
680. Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. ~ Phyllis Diller.
681. Only the dead have seen the end of war. ~ Translated from German saying: Nur die Toten haben das Ende des Krieges gesehen.
682. On the difference between the words COMPLETE and FINISHED:
"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE.
And when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!" ~ Samsundar Balgobin (Linguist from Guyana).
683. Newspaper Bloopers and Funnies: Newspaper Headline Goofs, Funny News Headlines, 50 Fun Headlines From Local News That Are Unhinged And Bizarre by Adelaide Ross, Austėja Akavickaitė, and Beverly Noronha, Bored Panda.
● Homicide victims rarely talk to police.
● Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted.
● Pregnant girls are vulnerable to weight gain.
● Diana was still alive hours before she died.
● 17 Remain Dead in Morgue Shooting Spree.
● USED TOMBSTONE, perfect for someone named HoenerHendelBergenHeinzel. One only.
● Marijuana issue sent to a joint committee.
● Man competent enough to be declared insane.
● Former potato chip factory burned to a crisp.
● Include Your Children When Baking Cookies.
● Students cook and serve grandparents.
● Parents keep kids home to protest school closure.
● Sisters reunited in checkout line after 18 years at supermarket.
● Barbershop singers bring joy to school for deaf.
● Overall, serious crime rate down; but arsons, burglaries, homicides up.
● Body In Duffel Bag; May Be Homicide.
● Psychic arrested again - still didn't see it coming.
● Florida man Tasered in eyeball outside bar called "One Eye Jack's".
● Drunk Gets 9 Months in Violin Case.
● Jail time can hinder job hunt.
● Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney.
● Lawyers back despite use of bug spray.
● Alton attorney accidentally sues himself.
● Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons.
● Man tries armed robbery with knife in gun store.
(A 57-year-old Greenfield man was shot in the chest Thursday during an armed robbery attempt at Buckhorn Guns).
● Fireman giving 'kiss of life' accidentally inhales kitty.
● Hospitals resort to hiring doctors.
● Sister hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose. (Newpaper headline from Canada).
● To Avoid Snakebites, Avoid Bothering Snakes.
● Tortoise Theft Leaves Owner Shell-Shocked.
● Man with nothing to declare had 55 tortoises in his pants.
● Burglar. (An Oak Hill Community couple discovered a thief in their home Saturday after a man told a joke and heard a laugh upstairs).
● Slowdown continues to accelerate.
● How to Buy a $450,000 Home for Only $750,000.
● Texans support death penalty, but only for the guilty.
● Baltimore City: 52 foot officers to patrol violent neighborhoods.
● Senior Center holds Old Bag Sale.
● Rooms with broken air conditioners are hot.
● Dead pet should not be stored with food.
● Food linked to all eating disorders.
● Greenland meteorite may be from space.
● China may be using sea to hide its submarines.
● Strong wind blows Fiddler off the roof.
(George Fiddler is a parks and recreation department employee).
● 'We hate math,' say 4 in 10 - a majority of Americans.
● Quintuplets born 15 months early.
● Couple wed Christmas Day 60 decades ago.
● Fisherman arrested for using wife as shark bait.
● Lost language found, but no one can read it.
● Psychics predict world didn't end yesterday.
684. Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~ Mark Twain.
Watch: The Night Trial in New York in 1935 - Based on a true story. YouTube video, 3:43 min.
685. Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~ Dalai Lama.
● Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle. ~ Plato.
686. A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. ~ James Keller and/or Erin Majors.
687. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. ~ Unknown.
688. Once you carry your own water, you will learn the value of every drop. ~ Unknown.
689. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. ~ Albert Einstein.
690. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. ~ Will Rogers.
691. In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. ~ Charles M. Schulz.
692. Great things are done by a series of small things brought together. ~ Vincent Van Gogh.
693. Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's the gospel. ~ Michael Jackson.
694. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. ~ Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943.
695. There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. ~ Ken Olson, founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
696. The things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as life remains. ~ Josephine Baker.
697. Ignorance is bliss. ~ From Thomas Gray's poem Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College (1742): "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise."
698. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. ~ From Alexander Pope's An Essay on Criticism (1709) Part II. "A little learning is a dangerous thing; Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring."
699. To err is human, to forgive divine. ~ From Alexander Pope's poem: An Essay on Criticism (1709) Part II.
Related resources:
● 50 Brain Teasers and Lateral Thinking Puzzles compiled by David Koutsoukis.
● Familiar Quotations: A Collection of Passages, Phrases, and Proverbs Traced to Their Sources in Ancient and Modern Literature compiled by John Bartlett.
● Brainy Quote. Huge collection of Famous Quotes, Quote of the Day, Topics, Authors, Pictures, Words, Quiz, Professions, Birthdays.
● LibQuotes. 100% Sourced Quotations. Categories include: Authors (with images and brief bio), Topics, Lists, and Pictures (quotation banners and posters). Useful resources include a selection of reliable quotation books and websites.
● Notable Quotes.
● PunME.
● Puns from Reader's Digest.
● 67 Hilarious Reasons Why The English Language Is The Worst.
● Clean Women Jokes.
● Clean Men Jokes.
● 300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud by Quincy Seale.
● Omniglot: Proverbs and sayings. Idioms and sayings in various languages. Tongue twisters in many languages Selections by Simon Ager.
● Examples of Idioms.
● Favorite Quotes for Seniors, Printable Puzzles from SeasonedTimes.
● The Quotations Page includes Quotes of the Day, Motivational Quotes, Random Quotes.
● Quote Dark. Bringing Quotations out of the Dark. Explore famous quotations. Categories include: Top 250 quotes, Random, Life, Inspirational, Funny, and Love Quotes. You can also Explore Quotes by Authors.
● The Quote Garden: A Harvest of Quotations for Word Lovers.
● Quote Investigator. This website records the investigatory work of Garson O'Toole who diligently seeks the truth about quotations.
● 20 Great Medieval Quotes.
● 20 English Proverbs that originated in the Middle Ages.
● Collection of Jokes.
● List of Funny Puns.
● List of the Funniest Jokes.
● Random Quotes.
● Bartleby Quotations.
Familiar Quotations 10th ed, 1919.
Forty Thousand Quotations: Prose and Poetical, 1917
Shakespeare Quotations.
Grocott's Familiar Quotations, 6th ed. 1890's.
Dictionary of Quotations, 1899.
Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations, 1922.
Prose Quotations from Socrates to Macaulay, 1880.
Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations, 1989.
Familiar Short Sayings of Great Men, 1989.
Proverbs, Maxims and Phrases of All Ages, 1887.
English Proverbs and Proverbial Phrases, 1907.
Curiosities in Proverbs, 1916.
A Dictionary of Similes, 1916.
● Shmoop - Featured Famous Quotes. Quotes by Subjects, Topics, Authors.
● Short-Funny.com. Short and Funny Jokes! Hilarious One Liners!
● This Day in Quotes. Famous quotations and phrases linked to each day of the year. Search Index by Date, Index of Quotes by Category or Topic (A-Z).
● Unbelievable Facts.
 2 Feet of Snow Fell This Morning in Canada |
 Snow in Utterson ON Nov 30, 2011 |
| Snow Plows in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada |
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